my first entry shall begin like so...
was nice to see em today ya know. lil rae agreed with me and made a rather undeniable comment. i told rae to not be unfaithful in a jokingly way. rae knows what rae's got anyhow. rae wouldn't do anything stupid.
anywho, enough talking in third person...found out that im allowed to go on the ski trip, but chubby cakes can't go after all:( apparently, her mom says yes but her stepdad says she can't with 'no arguments'...argh, don't u hate it when people who aren't even related to you try to control you lives? >_< im still praying that nessa can go cuz it won't be as much fun rooming with someone else without her being there...
when i saw em, puryavil told me that em's got a bad attitude, but i don't think its true. like em a lot, but don't want a repeat of the summer to happen again. i mean, that was bad enough of damage cuz i was...well...i was destructive. really destructive. in pain. angered. controlled and overcome by madness. suicidal.
that is not me anymore. it was a part of me. the pain will never go away. NEVER. no matter how much it may seem that i am alright, i will tell this: it will never be ok. things can't go back to the way it seemed before. i was the victim who was taken for granted and taken advantage of. but i am unstoppable. cuz you can't hurt me.
don't try to trick me, im not stupid.
don't try to lie to me, im not buying it.
don't try to hurt me, im not afraid.
don't try to change me, you're not worth it.
don't try at all, im not gonna be there.
^that up there would be a rock royalty original^
i am pretty strong with my poetry shit when it comes down to my feelings.
gonna close this up for now, until my next entry =D
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