| Current mood: |  accomplished |
| Current music: | nothing |
its just emotions taking me over
it all started a few years ago. I had already worked with britney on her tours, and awards programs. and i worked with nsync at some mtv award shows. news came to me that i was to work with nsync on their upcoming tour; no strings attached. my reaction? i groaned. i dreaded it. why, you ask. because. Nsync... were cool, dont get me wrong, but... it was weird, working with them before that time. Lance and Joey were always friendly. Jc was.... a drama queen. Yeah, he was. and every other word that came out of his mouth was about himself (no offence, jace.) it annoyed me. Chris was always off in his own world. and justin... justin. *looks away with a smile on his face* he was.. polite. quiet, but polite. never spoke unless he was spoken to. it was ackward, because we were/are so close in age. but, i signed on to the tour, after britney twisted my arm. Me and justin always got stuck sharing adjoining rooms. you know what that meant? i had to be the one to wake him up each morning. yeah. that was fun. not. the first time i can remember... he threw his remote control at me. hit me on the forehead. hurt like a bitch. but after a month or two of this ritual, i finally smartened up and wore a hockey mask and a pillow. *laughs* but, we ended up hanging out together. went out. we were both kind of young to drink, so we'd go to arcades, pool halls, basketball courts.. everywhere normal teenaged guys go. and i was always hard on him, during rehearsal. he.. was one of the best dancers in the group. he nailed the moves after the second go at it. but i always made him put in 110%, 100 wasnt enough for me. he was the only one that would yell back at me, when i yelled at them. the only one that could tell me to fuck off. yet, he was the only one that would do what i told him to do, without complaining. he was justin. and i was falling for him, hard. time flew, and the tour was over. i went back to living my wade robson life, and was doing work with britney, still. she'd tell me her fantasys, they always made me blush. but i think thats why she did it. to see me blush. but, anyway, i'm wandering off the subject. Justin called me up one day, begging me to come over to help him with a song he was writing. did i refuse? psh jigga pleaze. of course not. i was more then happy to help my friend. we finished the song that night. and like.. i went over and collaborated with him everyday for 3 weeks straight. it was fun... just me and just. i.. developed feelings for him during that time. time flew. 2001 came. i was asked to be on the pop oddessy tour. my reaction? i was estatic. i accepted, happily. The tour was much like the other, except my feelings for justin were there. they grew into a little justin planet in my mind. we shared rooms this time, though. i'd spend nights watching him sleep. he was so angelic. it took everything for me not to go over to him and hold him and kiss him.. but i knew he was straight. i knew he was with britney. then, before the first phase of the tour was over, i kissed him. he wouldn't wake up one morning, and before i knew it, i kissed him. he woke up. i froze. he looked at me, and i ran. later that day, i resigned from working with britney and nsync. well. i did end up working with britney on her tour, but i was already signed to that beforehand. rehearsal that day was the worst. i ended up crying after it ended. i just.. lost it. that night i left. i haven't seen him since. he was the one who opened the door to my.. bisexuality. and now i'm messed up.
it's not justin's fault, its just how i became who i am. one confused hurt and scared boy. i'm glad he's happy with chrissy, really.
-wade
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