|Current mood:|| pleased|
Well I just got home from my first Advanced Bellydancing class and ohmygodohmygodohmygod! Burning pain shooting through my arms...it was great! That's all I'm going to say about that.
I'm almost positive that I failed my french part a diploma. No kidding, no intentional understatements. It is the plain truth that if I by some miracle pass, even by a little bitty bit, I'll probably become dizzy and have to sit down. Going back up to my locker from the computer lab was hard, I was trying not to cry. My vision was getting blurry and I knew that if I started I wouldn't be able to get to a bathroom or whatever without someone asking if I was okay. Which never helps, it only makes it worse. Needless to say the latter half of my day was somewhat dampened.
I've discovered that it's always the same when me and my mom get into the big screaming matches. We're both tired, mostly cranky and yet still have enought patience to joke around with each other. That's how it begins. Poking fun at one and other. Then all it takes is one comment, or sometimes all it takes is one word and in a split second there's anger. The fun has been flushed down the crapper and it will not return. Then one person's anger spreads to the next person and soon you've got two short women bending forward screaming at each other point blank until one leaves the room. If it's a good day it ends there, everybody calms down a little bit and then there is a strained apology from both players. On a bad day, the one who walks away is followed by their screaming opponent, there's usually another screaming match (I've found it's usually in the hall or at a doorway one person on each side). On a horrible day my dad gets into the fight and there's the danger of violence. My dad usually takes my mom's side and then the tables are turned. My dad and I are screaming at each other, him looking like he's going to hit me any minute and me not backing down (too him I bet it looks like I'm asking to be hit just because I won't back down) with my mom defending me. Oh what fun. Luckily today both me and my mom where to exhausted to go beyond the initial feelings of anger, but there were a couple times when it looked like one of us was going to snap. Like walking the razor's edge I tell you.