|Current mood:|| blank|
|Current music:||Latif- U think U know|
Well, on my last post I wrote that I am pregnant...it was crazy....my mom wanted me out of the house....I was so stressed out. A day didn't go by that I didn't cry myself to sleep....I felt so alone. I told my boyfriend and he told his mom what was going on and she offered for me to move in. But I told her no. I didn't want to move in because she felt bad for me. (I'm way too proud) She invited me to have thanksgiving with her and her family so I did. I had to work all last week and I had my bosses car. Mark was in town from Tampa so I picked him up and me and him went to my boyfriends grandmothers house and spent thanksgiving there. Also, my friend Trina, was in town so me and her hung out too. I ended up loosing the baby the day after thanksgiving. I was about a month pregnant. I was so depressed about it. I really wanted to have the baby. But things happen for a reason right??? I gained soooo much weight because I forced myself to eat....I really wanted the baby to be healthy....but I'm gonna try and loose this weight. My boyfriends mom told me that I would have to go to the hospital since I lost the baby and I ended up going the next day. At times I felt like my boyfriend didn't care if I lost the baby. I cried so much...and when I told him all he said was "you need to go to the doctor" "Things happen for a reason" He didn't really care....at least I don't think he did. The night before last we were hanging out and he was with his friends and they were smoking weed. I haven't smoked weed since may.....but for some reason I was so tempted to and I did. I felt bad afterwards. Yesterday my boyfriend invited me to go to his house and have breakfast with him. I wasn't feeling well but I went anyway.....we were smoking weed and I started to feel even worse.....My boyfriends mom said that I wasn't looking too good and that I looked dead.....she said I had dark circles under my eyes and that my face looked gray. I was shaking and I couldn't breath. I almost passed out. I went to the hospital and the reason why I was like that was because of menstrual cramps. Isn’t that some shit??? I couldn't go to work yesterday because I spent the day at the hospital. I went there twice this week. Ugh....I hate the damn hospital. So....I'm just chillin at home...waiting for it to be 5pm....so that I can go to work again.