| Current mood: | ow |
| Current music: | Metallica: Fade 2 Black |
~*~Emptiness is filing me, all that's left is agony~*~
I realize now that my life is filled with mostly nothing. I pushed off any true sense of reality a long time ago. The second I believed that someone was going to love me; true, honest, real love, I lost everything I've never had.
Believing in everyone; believing in the GOOD of everyone has gotten me pushed down. As far as I can possibly go. It's over. Everything. Everything I believe in.
I realize of course, that it's my fault. That I chose to see what I did. That I didn't question, just put my heart on the line, and what was just was. My heart jumped ahead of my mind and blinded my eyes.
It was right in front of my face. Right there. But, I pushed that aside. For love.
Now I can truly say- I've been in love. Through good and bad No matter how much pain it's caused me in the long run. Unrequited- no, not exactly. "He" loved me at some point. I'm mostly over his being gone. I understand it, I accept it. I know that I've got to move on. Let it be the past. Let that part of my life die and find something that makes me alive again. But there's times where my mind fades into what I used to have and what I used to believe.
I still hurt over little things that I should of been over a long time ago. Sometimes I freak and I need to cut. But thats just because true love never dies.
So, I may never "see" him again or talk to him or feel him- but he'll never be completely "dead" because I'll carry him on.
The Invisible Man
Your face haunts my memory,
Your voice clouds my thoughts,
I think of all our happy times,
I remember how we faught.
Loving you felt so right,
But ended oh so wrong,
I guess sometimes love can't hold out,
No matter how strong.
The scent of you still lingers,
Though you were never even here,
I'll never even see you,
I'll never hold you near.
I'll never be your girlfriend,
I can't be your wife,
Because you're a figment of my imagination,
A perfect being, with no life.
I just want to love you,
But I know that you're not real,
And though right now my mind can't handle it,
I'll learn how to deal.
They say that love's not easy,
But they don't understand,
For they've never loved like I have,
They've never loved an invisible man.
TRuE RoK!
DoRK A$$
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