| Current mood: | crushed |
| Current music: | blood, sex, and booze- green day (warning) |
you say PSYCHO like its a bad thing....
tonight was the "ever-so-popular" halloween dance that i've looked forward to for the past 2 months. was it a good turn out? no. was the ass trio there? no. did i have fun?! HELL YA! i dressed up as a hooker... yup... very 'me'. so did stacy... i just call her the 'after sex goddess'. stacy and i danced some... then she ran into her friend from camp... since im a bitch.. im just gonna say it... she was fucking annoying! stacy said everyone at camp hated her and nicole said "i just met her 10 minutes ago and i hate her"... funny stuff man! she kept joking about rape... ugh... i hate when people do that. then the carpool went to the commons... i think i had more fun after the dance... it was cool...we walked around the whole place looking for something to be opened... we finally saw a ralphs was open... we bought the same cookies twice! then everyone got home a half hour later.. nicoles lap is soo comfy! mike gave me a hug at the end. yay!
another day goes by and i am still at a loss i guess...i hate it...but more and more i feel that he wants to never be friends again...and i see that by how he continues to build a friendship with "her"..."she" is taking my place...whatever place that is or was that i had...and she is okay with that...and i guess i have to be too...i guess
just somewhere deep down inside i thought i would end up being more important...but again i was wrong...dead
wrong...and i should not be suprised...i should have seen it sooner...i mean after all...it is thrown in my face all
the time...they talk like best of friends and we rarely exchange a glance...i swear i feel cast aside...well...i
kind of was..well who knows...and i am suppose to not care...but i do care...i miss him...the late night
chats...and all of it...but i guess i will just have to keep missing it...
i love sheba. she's like the "dr.phil" suited for me. well...kinda. she talks about so much with me and its cool how she always wants to talk.
it was funny how ashley is so attatched to baseball. she cryed because she was so happy the angels won. and she started yelling at everyone when she was pissed they were loosing on the score board. then she went running around for joy when they announced the scores! haha...shes so funky! i loved the car ride to the dance. i sat on this middle arm rest thing in the back (very uncomfortable)and we played the songs i love! hoorah! nicole and i laughed at how sami didn't dress up for the dance! all last night in the car ride home sami was talking about like 50 different costume ideas with charlotte...and now she didn't dress! argh! i dont get that girl! next year stacy, nicole, and i are gonna be the ass trio!
i miss my friends... i was thinking about them tonight... i was so dizzy tonight too... i hate holding back my fainting spells.. it hurts so much.
im so tired of life... i dont know what to do anymore... what to think, who to believe...
-aarie bearie
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