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Idiotcy and Such (Part II)
Anyway, nothing irritates me more than 2nd hand smoke. Just got back home and I enter the place with a frown as the entire living room is filled with smoke. My father had picked up smoking again in the recent months (after many years). Basket, he should know that smoke is on my No.1 hate list and still… gaaah. Fed up but no comments since I don’t own the place. What I usually do is to leave the fans of the living room on while I hold my breath and dash straight to my (Ops) Room, which I left it locked whenever I leave the house. Literally declared Cold War and refused to talk. At this rate, I wonder whether I really want to move into the new place, as my current place is on the SERS en-bloc scheme. Meanwhile I’ve been looking out for alternate housing around the area…
Given the choice I rather stay-in campus as seriously this place doesn’t feels welcoming. My ops room is in a mess as I still had no time to perform a massive cleaning. Ironically my bunk back in PLC was one of the neatest and cleanest… Mess I still can tolerate. But to come back after a long day, tired and have to face with all these nonsense… if I can stay out, I’ll rather do so. Gone were the days when I still had the Secretariat to stay but that is another story for another time. Now even though I can stay in my office, it ain’t very comfy. The air-con shuts down at midnight and it gets really hot and stuffy as I’ve stayed in once. Oh well, I can survive.
Anyway, now that I am slightly agitated, perhaps I should list out my “hate-list” and my proposed remedies and solutions, if I have it my way. Beware, I’m no angel and can get really evil and wicked when provoked or irritated.
(1) 2nd Hand Smoke
This one tops the list. I have no qualms with smokers who are considerate, as not everyone appreciates their smoke. I hate it to walk behind someone puffing away, (aka I call them “diesel engines”), so would rather overtake them. So having smoke in my place, hell no.
Remedy: Force Choke (not the one that Darth Vader uses but I’ll rather re-channel the smoke that they puff out, back into them and have them choked from it.)
(2) Inconsiderate idiots who make loud noise in the middle of the night (including drivers)
Though this occurrence ain’t common, still it ain’t that ‘uncommon’ in my neighbourhood, especially when Zouk is just across the road. I suppose it is these irritants that strength my resolve to hate clubbing, as they have been disturbing my sleep since young. Imagine you’re sound asleep when these (often drunk) A-holes start causing a racket downstairs. Sometimes they get into fights or simply just get very rowdy and start screaming or shouting. Sometimes they also like to ramp their engines of their bikes or heavily modified cars.
Remedy: Various. The simplest way is to throw a packet of ‘black gold’ or ‘hot beer / chrysanthemum tea’ at their faces. More evil way is to direct the Force to have a tree branch dropped onto them. This trick works best for those irritating drivers. The impact must not kill them, as I want them to suffer…
(3) Stupid drivers
This doesn’t refer to drivers who don’t know the way nor those “less skilled” drivers. Rather it refers to those irritating inconsiderate, over kiasu drivers, and no… taxi drivers ain’t that bad… The most common occurrence: You signal to declare intention to change lane. That idiot behind you saw that and purposely speeds up to close the gap. When you try to inch in, he/she horns you. Oh come on, how many milliseconds you’ll loose by letting someone change into your lane. You can always overtake…
Remedy: Curse them that they get into a serious accident that got their vehicles entirely destroyed, unrepairable. However, as evil as always, I want the driver to survive (probably with a broken leg) to know that his/her beloved vehicle is utterly beyond repair. I want them to suffer the pain of loosing their car… If they can’t drive properly, then they shouldn’t be driving…
(4) Pple walking very slowly or blocking the way
Only exceptions to this are the elderly or those with problem walking, which I can empathise. However it is those idiots or groups who like to walk slowly in a 3-up formation (extended horizontal line), that irritates me. Sometimes they like to stop halfway and talk non-stop, oblivious to the long stream of pple behind them. This also applies to road hoggers who simply like to road hog on the expressway even when the extreme left lane is almost empty.
Remedy: Force Push (any obstructions will be easily removed by the use of the Force)
Yawns, okay I suppose that’ll be all for now. I’m getting sleepy and it is getting late.
And that as I say, is that. En Garde!
08 0154h
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