|Current mood:|| amused|
|Current music:||Xtina - Obvious|
Happy Turkey Day!!!
Thanksgiving is so stupid. It's like ooo let's all eat a lot of food and be lazy because a bunch of years ago the native americans who we then overran and killed taught us how to survive.
It'S a BuNcH oF bUlLsHiT
but anyways. I'll get through it. We're not doing anything. Just cooking and going to see Matrix Revolutions which I really dont want to see...well, not today. I'd rather just do nothing. I dont know. I'm bored as hell i need stuff to do or I'll go absolutely inSanE. I have all these ppl that want to do stuff but "nooo it's thanksgiving." yea, pessimism a bit but i just dont think it matters. like ok it happened get over it. why is food the center of everything??
And why is is that every single guy i find who seems amazing screws me over. I'vebeen verbally abused, cheated on, used...fun stuff i tell you. Will you PLEASE find my a guy, someone, anyone. Jeez, I'm way too much of a sexual-sensual being. I need to be close - I need to kiss someone, hook up or something. Way too much pent up sexual energy, I'm telling you. It's just CrAzY!!!!.
I'm working on some songs but I need beats to them, dammit. I'll probably post some.
Family here- like, immediate family, pretty good. I've been living with my mother only, cuz being with my father the giant house just feels SO empty and I feel like I'm just a bother and it's so lonely and creepy...I don't know. I just hate that hous and that town and everything it resembles and reminds me of. But I've been mostly getting along with everyone - a change and a positive one at that
However - my grandfather, who had started drinking again, didn't follow the aftercare rules of his recent spine surgery and therefore fractured his lower back and needs another surgery. I'm not even angry with him at this point, just really, really worried. I dont know. He's like my favorite relative and now I'm not sure if I'll get to see him again or if he'll just...die.
I was just thinking
*I'm normal compared to the rest of my family*
a funny thought