| Current mood: |  gloomy |
| Current music: | air |
any one interested in some calculus pi?
Reply to: pers-219342760@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-10-11, 7:54PM CDT
I know that many of you are busy studying for midterms, working, or simply keeping warm. I would like to offer you a chance to get away for a quick minute with a piece of calculus pi,its full of juicy facts and tasty numbers.You can really number crunch with this pi. Enticing,I know. Well, if anyone's interested let me know, I'll have a nice warm piece ready for you. Happy studying!!
a dream i had
i was home (oakdale). i was walking down oak hill road and was turning onto hickory to walk towards my house down evergreen lane. john's white truck pulled up to the stop sign on hickory coming towards me. as he passed me we looked at each other and he slammed on his breaks. at which point i took off in a sprint. i was holding something. a book? something square. i was running as i could to get away from him. i kept running. all of the sudden i was at the high school. well. at least in my dream i knew it was the high school even though now looking back it didnt really look like it at all. kasonda and kristin and jackie were there. we were doing some sort of band thing. we were reunited. a few other band people were there. people i havent thought about in years. i dont remember who they were anymore. but i remember seeing people and being shocked to see them. elyse was also there (she wasnt in band) and i ran up to her and said "elyse! i've missed you so much!" and she looked at me like she didnt know who i was. she had long strait hair that was died purple. john was there too. but he just hung out in the back of the room watching me. he never talked.
i was feeling really upset last night. i just miss my friends, i think. thats probably why i had this dream. i was thinking to myself that i didnt deserve anything better then john. and that his problems were all cause by me. i realize today (this morning) that that isnt true. but i do feel guilty about it sometimes. i shouldnt. but i do. sometimes i think that it was all my fault that he ended up being the way he is. how hurtful and self destructive he is. i demanded a lot of him. i dont know. but thats just how i remember feeling. i just remember feeling like i was sucking everything he had out. its just a weird thing to think about sometimes. it doesnt happen often that i think about him. but every once in a while i do and i always get really depressed and upset. i hate him so much and yet sometimes i think he's the only one who'll ever be crazy enough to love me no matter what fucked up shit i do. which is something i am trying to get over. because i know that its not true. but on days where i am feeling lonely and depressed it seems like its the only thing thats true. does that make sense?
weather.com says it feels like 21 degrees fahrenheit (for you canadians out there that means negative 6 celsius) outside! so coool! the frost last night killed off our morning glories :-( they always made me smile in the morning. i fear this winter is going to be worst then the last one. its just plagued with bad memories. today last year i bought my ticket to return to connecticut to help papa with weeta.. ::sigh::
p.s. "winter with you" - a 24 hour comic i wrote is up on my flickr page all pretty. i took down all the digital camera pictures and put up actual scans.. my favorite page?
upon further listening...
new favorite songs on hissing fauna (sorry i talk about of montreal so much.. i just love them a lot)
Cato as a Pun (crazy guitar shit)
Heimdalsgate Like a Promethean Curse (chemicals)
Gronlandic Edit (hold the deviiiiine)
A Sentence of Sorts in Kongsvinger (is it a soul? a fever?)
Bunny Ain't No Kind of Rider (to me your just some faggy girl)
a nearly missed connection
sometimes i read them hoping someone is looking for me - for about 5 seconds i thought this was for me till i realized it wasnt.. i was outside the orpheum a week ago smoking wearing my black skirt (with the skulls) thats sort of mini and a black sweater (nightmare before xmas) having a cigarette and drinking coffee. but then i realized that i was at escape during the cindy lauper show. it was a week earlier that i was there. ::sigh:: oh well, a girl can dream, cant she?
Smoking In Front of The Orpheum
Reply to: pers-219249020@craigslist.org
Date: 2006-10-12, 3:44PM CDT
I was on my into the the Cyndi Lauper concert when I saw you, in the mini and black sweater, outside having a cigarette. I never understood what some guys thought was so sexy about smoking until then....yeah.
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