|Current mood:|| disappointed|
ok.... originally i ordered 20 tickets for the great america trip. cost the youth group $729.81. and then there were hella people who cancelled in the last minute. eventually there were only 13 of us. wait.... there's MORE!! they didn't have the tickets i reserved!! the person who helped me out was very cool... stayed with me until we were able to sort things out. in the end we got our tickets, i got 15 (at this point i haven't heard of the last of the flakers yet). i think the worst part about people flaking on me was the fact that most of them didn't even have the decency to tell me themselves. everyone knows my cell number. i don't know. sometimes it just doesn't feel like i'm getting through to some these kids. i'm having doubts of if they will be better off without me. i don't know if i'm still effective. i mean, the newbies i can understand if they want to come to an event because so-so will be there or because they think it'll be fun. but those who have been there for years? i thought you'd go because it's a spiritual-driven experience. you make sacrifices for these kids, and you rack your brains out to try to please people and cater to everyone's individuality, and you put your life on hold numerous times. if i'd known i was going to get screwed, i would have rather just spent the day with my grandmother. it's her 75th birthday and with the way things are going who knows how many more i'll get to spend with her? all y'all suckas think y'all are the only ones who have lives?! ahite.... i see how it is.
but my promise is that i'll be here until someone kicks me out. i intend to live up to that. i don't even know what i want anymore. if i want to stay or if i want to go. i want to play the cards that are dealt to me. whatever the situation is.... whether i'm here or not.... i just want to move forward already.