|Current mood:|| contemplative|
|Current music:||ben kweller- different but the same|
this day will go down in infamy.
at the moment, i have ben kweller songs stuck in my head, and a very stuffy nose and red eyes and sticky cheeks from crying so much. "different but the same," the title of this song means so much right now. i love weekends, but i hate what they make me do to myself. but then again, i really would have nothing without them. yesterday kevin and i "went to the lock-in." haha, well we actually went home to my house and he slept here. it was amazing, i've never felt so close to him. except now he's so far away. there's not much to say about that. i guess the whole... 17 hours (mas o menos) i had with him were... indescribable. well, how about one word. ohbaby. haha... i am lame, yes i am. but i just feel so lucky that i got to wake up and see the person that i want to be with foralongtime lying next to me. it's the only solid comfort i've had in a while. umm, so then today i realized that i also have the best friends ever, and i would die without them. or to say the least, i'd be very lonely and depressed and lacking a lot of happiness, while also being completely oblivious to that. i hope i never lose these memories. in general... i mean, yesterday/last night/this morning with kevin, and all the memories that i have with PPP and whingus especially. i'm learning to count less and less on my family, not because they don't love me, or support me... but because they don't know me, and don't realize they don't, and frankly, don't want to. for example, mom ordering a car service to pick me up from elyce's today because she was too busy with her new job, which really is not as strenuous as she implies. i felt so unstable leaving PPP's house. i don't know what i'm talking about, though. i need to write everything down in a handwritten journal. because i don't know who reads this. i really think i should make it friends only, cuz then only whingus and i would see it, and that doesn't pose such a threat. anyway, i'm gonna go do homework and cry some more. may 8, 2004. rememberrrrrr todayyyyyyy... wow.
v-viii-mmiv... i know roman numerals. :B