|Current mood:|| stressed|
|Current music:||none just phones ringing and printers =(|
I've been working here for about seven months now and there are times when I still feel useless or like a rookie. I'm supposed to have learned a lot but when things start getting under a lot of pressure its when i feel like i wanna get the hell outta here. I've been offered a job closer to my house. My sisters working there and the pay is supposed to be good, better than here but then again I've been given a raise several times now. I've gained the trust of my bosses all 5 of them and I feel like they care about me a lot but at times I just cant help but feel like I dont measure up to their expectatives. They're owners of a growing company and they expect me to deliver and help them make their company grow, and expand to other places. I wanna help but then sometimes I just get stuck. I dont want to say I quit and just leave all of my work pending. Then whats gonna happen with all the things that I've coordinated for imports. And the contacts that I've made with International providers. Nobody else here speaks english but me, how are they gonna comunicate with them. I dont wanna leave marlene all by herself either. She cries so much cuz she gets stressed out. The other day I cried with her cuz I felt like I was doing things wrong and like I wasnt even helping. Aside from the fact that I'm tired cuz I gotta wake up super early in the morning, at 4 to get to work at 7 since its 2 hours away from my house. This other place is offering me more than I earn here and its only 30 mins. away which is much better but I dont wanna leave the people that have accepted me and made me feel appreciated. I dont know what to do. Sometimes I wanna quit..then I dont wanna give up.
Anywayz I gotta get back to my work cuz Ive got all these documents due for Monday and Im not even half way thru.