|Current mood:|| crushed|
...ReaL GUys LoOk foR ReaL dOWn To MarS gIrLs...
everytime i read his entries and i see all the things he wrote about me, i start thinking..was it all a lie? did he just say all of that to get what he wanted?? if he didnt then why won't he tell me anything? i feel like damn..he lied to me. all of his words were just bs. and it sucks cuz i really did believe him. everything he told me..i took it serious. i never knew he would be that type of guy. what now? am i supposed to just forget about him and pretend like nothing happened? like we dont share anything..together? this is when i need him the most and when he decides to leave me all alone..without even saying anything. he just stopped calling all of a sudden. why?? was it something i did? was it because i wanted to keep this one little thing that only him and i will share forever?? did i do something to make him freak out and run away?? why? i'd like to know why..why is he doing this to me? i want him here. to tell me the reason to why he's doing this to me. i wonder if he thinks about me as much as i think about him. sometimes i just feel so mad at him for doing that. i feel like screaming at him for being like that with me. but then i remember about how it was before and how happy he made me. and i just wanna cry. he sucks. i never knew he'd be like that. ::sigh::
so i decided i want to study web design. all of this designing and making web pages look pretty ful is so addicting. i wanna learn more about it. and how to do all these things that make everything pretty. ok so i'm gonna start looking for a good school to enroll in and start maybe by may, but i dont know. hopefully by march of next year. that's when they start taking all the students in and stuff. giving the tests and all that.
well, 6 days till my birthday =D
will he call?? i doubt it. i should kick his ass. but i still miss him ='(