|Current mood:|| discontent|
I guess I don't write in this often...I'm not very faithful to my "blog" as you hipsters say.
Forgive my ADD, I lose interest in things all too quickly and it's a flaw I've never been able to hide or improve upon. I suppose that it's not at all limited to an online journal either, because it's pretty apparent in my every day life. I fail to hold meaningful relationships with people that I probably should have in my life and I grow bored so easily in the company of others. There are two people in my life that I can foresee as being permanent, but only one of them actually seems always to truly care for me. She has been my best friend since 7th grade and I cannot even see myself living a life without her.
He, however, is amazing and loves me more than life itself, but sometimes slips up and fails to show it. I have never actually doubted my love for him, but it is easy to worry that it isn't always completely mutual. There is always more good than bad, but then it seems as though he tends to disappear and becomes so distant during the bad times that I need him most.
I know my life is wonderful and I know I have no reason to complain, so I won't; but I will say that lately I've been feeling as though I have no control over anything in my life anymore and that everything could disappear as quickly as I received it.
One day I might just psyche myself up enough into jumping in front of that train.