|Current mood:|| thoughtful|
|Current music:||Jeff Buckley|
I can't seem to get her out of my mind. I can't fall in love with anyone else like I did her. She introduced me to movies and music that I love, and I only wish I could share it with her now. To spend time with her and see her beautiful face would make my heart flutter. But she doesn't want to see me. I sometimes think of the idea that I will go on loving her forever and keep checking in with her to see if she will have me back someday. Even though she is a pain in the ass, not too talkative, depressed, angry at the world, I still love her and I can't help it, and I'm the opposite of her. I analyze myself, and I think why? maybe it's interesting and challenging. I miss her sniffing my neck. I miss her Japanese look. I miss hearing her say "I love you sooo much". Now she hates me, but she can't not love me anymore because she has hate. Hate comes from love. I was going to go to a show tonight that she will be at and just stand afar and stare at her. It's been 6 months. But, I guess that would be like stalking, and weird voyeurism. I told her I was thinking of going though, so she knows I might be there. She said as long as I stay far far away it should be fine. But the show is 2 hours away from me, so maybe I won't do it. I should just go and promote my own show. Why can't she forgive me and come back to me. I'm nothing but nice to her. Maybe I'm too available. She doesn't even have time to think about me. I miss her, and I don't think I'll get over her. I love her.