Well today has been a good day. Finally a good day after how many days that have gone astronomically wrong! Well I have decided I really want to move out of my house. I really really hate my house my mother and father are by far too young to have a 19 year old daughter and have no idea how to be parents I have basically been parenting myself for the last few years. One is too strict and does not know how to control his anger and instead of punishing me and my brothers he just takes everything away and embarrasses us. I mean I’m 19 years old and i still have to be home at 11. it gets to be very trying! Then my mother on the other hand she just does not care. Well this is a trying subject for me because I feel like my step dad should not be telling me what to do i mean when i was born my step dad was a freshman in high school! My mother should be telling me what to do and she does not care what I do so... well so that’s the drama going on at home well now the drama at school! Well I have a problem! well I have 4 guys I’m talking to and i have no idea what do do because they all want a girlfriend and I really don't was a boyfriend right now I just want someone to go to the movies with or just go out and have fun! There is a mixer for zeta Friday and I want to go and take one of them but i have no idea who to take! I really have no ambition of a boyfriend right now i am still not over my ex. especially since he is sick and I fell like I should be with him right now! i really like the one guy his name is Ben! and he just likes to hang out just like me its so nice because there is no pressure and i dont have to worrie about him making moves on me! its very nice! we went to a party the other night it was fun! then there is willie he is so much fun and we go and sit in his hot tub and i have so much fun! but he wants me to be his girlfriend and im not ready to be a girlfriend yet! then there is rob who is completely in love with me and i d not want to have a boyfriend i told his i would go out and have fun but there is nothing physical between us and he understood untill he wanted to get intimant and i pushed him away i don't get it dont guys know the meaning of no! then there is a boy who i went to school a long time ago with and he is fun to talk to and he does not want a gf so we just play videogames and talk! my ex and i have a very good relationship now his is so sweet and i miss him and he is sick so i feel horrible! he is like a backbone for me he makes me stronger in everything i do if i say i cant i just think of him and there is a new found strength! he really makes me think sometimes about were i want to go in life and he has really changed me! im not all about boys anymore and im not a premisquous as i was before he has made me respect myself! this is another reason i do not want a boyfriend! i have to focus on school from now on! he is really the greatest thing that has happend to me in my whole life! well enough about that! i have been talking to an ond ex from a really long time ago and he makes me happy it makes me think about time we had before! he is so sweet he says he really wants to talk to me and see me i donno tho becasue that will bering to many old memories back he was like my first real kiss and my first intimant moment! we have been really close ever since we played baseball together! but i don't know! well today i went to lunch with all the zetas we had fun then there were ramdon guys walking up to us and trying to start convo with us we all laughted and we were kinda mean this on kid walks up and goes hey what are ur majors none of us said anything for a really long time and then all the sudden haha one of us goes who are u? it mad me laugh! i know is mean but u should have seen him! i donno i hate when guys just walk up to you! well i have to go now but i will be updating lata!