Lindsey Rey (polar) wrote, @ 2011-09-21 00:00:00

I managed to eat very little and cut myself on my left breast after going so long without it.

I'm heading down the same path I was in when I lived in Michigan, when I had all this freedom and spent all my time starving, cutting and writing. And honestly, I couldn't think of a better way to slip into madness. For as painful as it all was, it was one of the best times of my life. Things seemed so out of control, but it was actually the opposite: I had nothing but control.

I controlled what I put in and what I took out.
I controlled what I did and didn't do.

I controlled everything.

I want that again. And now that I'm in the perfect position for it, I'm relishing in it.

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