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Lauren (pleasebreathe) wrote,
@ 2003-11-25 00:45:00
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    copy and paste. this happen before the huge one before
    SO. Brett and I went to dunkin donuts cuz it was the only place open at 2 in the morning so we sat and talked about stuff happenin and it was cool. Friendly talk ya know? So It was like 230 and i was scared cuz we both snuck out of our houses and i wasnt sure if i should go home so he like well i dont wanna get you in trouble so lets go. he told me to just drop him off at white oak park. So we get there and he get out of the car and go ont he swing and i sat in the my car thing should i go out there or leave..... i sat for like a minute. anddddddd i chose to go outside to him. So we just sat on the swings talkin again about random stuff. nothin serious. So we walked around the park and ended up sitting on one of the picnic tables.It was really cold outside. we eventually just keep sitting closer and closer next to eachother. At this point I really just wanted to hug him and just be close to him again. So the tables were damp and we relized that there was a pavilion with dryyyyyy tables under it. so we went over to them and sat there and talked and didnt talk for a while. there was lots of staring and thinking and breathing. so somehoe we were really close and he was doing htat caressing my arm thing and holding me and everything. so we were sitting and facing eachother. eventually he put his head on my left shoulder and moved it and then kissed me forhead and then i put my head on his shoulder and he just held me for a while. and then it slowly tunded into kissing. lots of emotional kisses. we were both shaking not just cuz it was cold but cuz of what we were doing. I kept pulling away and just looked at him and he just pulled me and kissed me. I actually started crying while we were kissing but just kepts on kissing him. I wanted to keep on kissing hima nd he wanted to keep on kissing me but i couldn't do it. i then just pulled him and we just held eachother really tight. It wasn't just making out with my exboyfriend. There was so much power and pure fucking emotion in those 10-15 minutes. It still drive me nuts right now thining about it. So We were both just shaking and really cold so we left and went into my car. We got to my car and decided to just go home. So i dropped him off at the corner and he took my hand and rubbed it and was half way out my door and thought fuck i need to do soemthing cuz this is wrong so i pulled him into my car and told him we need to talk about this. So he came back in and agreed. So we sat there for 45 minutes talking about everyhting that weve needed tot alk about the past 2 months. we agreed that we just got carried away and he tol dme that he really just didn't want anything to happen right now. and i agreed. so then a car came up behind me. so i moved to another street and parked there and we talked agin for 45 minutes aboout stuff and then he asked about Jon. It was weird. but he like you like jon you always have i know you have. he understood that when we were toghet that i didnt like him thne but he knew that something was always there. and he just told me to go for it and be we him i shouldnt be scared. it was weird hearing him encourage me to be with jon.But yeah Brett and i talked so muhc shit out and it felt good to get shit out. So everything should be fine now. He asked me if iw as going to be ok and i didn't know. I knew i was going to be sad. andd i was. so this weekend has been crazy. so yeah thats the really bad and good thang that happen

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