|Current mood:|| confused|
It's times like these where i need to write in here. There are 2 guys. One, serious ex-boyfriend. Two, the guy who I have always wanted to date since the moment I met him 4 years ago. Brett [the serious ex-boyfriend] and I have been talking again. I mean its not like it's serious talk and working shit out. It's normal happy convo. This makes me miss him so much. I miss being so happy with him. But he seems to show that he dosen't miss being in a relationship which i can totally believe. He's happy but he's happy all the time. But I can't tell if he hides how he feels about me or if he just dosen't feel anything for me. The whole time while we were together he always said he never thought about sad stuff. He would accept it and move on and not think about it, just avoid it and abandon it. Just be happy and make the most out of everyday. I thought it was amazing that he could do that. I sure as hell couldn't. So last week I sorta tried to tell him that I basically didn't want to talk to him because it just hurt. He didn't understand so it all was pointless. So tonight I talk to him for the first time in a week. Everything's just great. We both having blast just talking to eachother and damn. everything is still there. I don't know. Maybe it isn't.
And then there's Jon. Everything is perfect with me and hiis right now. I need time tho. i'll write more about that later.