|Current mood:|| depressed|
|Current music:||audioslave *i am the highway*//staind *so far away*|
these are my words.....
ive been seeking a release from these thought all day and now i finally have time to actually let them go,blissfull. i saw my stephanie today and talked to my jen. told you i would do it by monday ;]! stephanie and i went to record and tape traders and i bought the Audioslave cd. oh they are awesome!!! tom morello is a guitar god and chris cornell's vocals remind me of the pain that i felt in kurt cobains.they are one of those bands that you can relate to in someway or another.Stephanie burnt me a cd as well. with the Staind song *so far away* on it. im listening to it right now as a matter of fact. im getting depressed,but in a diffrent way tonight. well actually i think that i have been sort of depressed all day,although stephanie can always make me smile when i dont want to. i just dont feel right today. i saw pirates of the carribean lastnight with bryan. oh it was such a great movie. ive never been more attracted to johnny depp in my life.hehe. him in eyeliner*melts* got home at 1:30. my dad bitched me out big time. im really not worried about it because hes gunna hear a shit load from my aunt sandie;] i havent spoke to bryan all day. im sure i will before the nights over and if not then tomorrow during his lunch break. i miss hanging out with stephanie all the time. i really hate not seeing her everyday as i did during school. hes so pretty. she looks alot diffrent,cant put my finger on why,but she does. i need to sing more. my cords arent in shape at all. and im supposed to sing with keith when he comes to town in august.eeek! jen is extremely upset with rias journal entry about how fucked up she is for doing whatever she did to steven as she put it. jen as well as most people hate when people dont say things to her face. i dont blame her due to the fact maris dosent know her at all.
my mind has been drifting all day. i just cant stop from thinking about things and im driving myself insaine. like i keep thinking about mistakes ive made,my future and its just putting me in this state of depression where all i wat to do is cry and chop my head off so i cant think anymore.i cant wait to hear from jen tonight. shes calling me back after she talks to bryan to find some things out for me. what an angel. thats another thing ive been thinking about...him...and what he wants from me...how he feels for me...why he feels this way for me...just questions every girl needs to know before she attemps to go the extra mile for that someone. and no im not going to be with him right now...i said i need alone time and thats what i have. i just want to be there for him and i wanna be the one he cares about before we make it anything more. just had to clear that up for all the lil gossip junkies so involved in my life they cant see 2 feet infront of them. well i suppose i will write when jen tells me the answers to my questions...until then....