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Punk Rock Prom Queen (perkygoth) wrote,
@ 2002-12-17 02:28:00
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    taken from patience.
    Dear Obese Trespassing Altruist,

    This year, I have been a very materialistic little TV watcher. I have sometimes embezzeled, and I have often helped my other daddy with their colostomy bag. And I always say thank you, which makes me polite, and so I deserve lots of blank checks this year!

    Please bring all this stuff for me and the people in my life: For my mommy, please bring fruit leather panties. For my daddy, please bring a new Rogaine prescription. For my big sister, please bring a subscription to Guns & Ammo. For my ferret, please bring non-surgical sterilization. Oh – and for my cleaning lady, please bring some work ethic.

    Now about me! Please bring me all of the Harry Potter beer coozies, and front row tickets to Aaron Carter – plus backstage passes so I can get coked up! Oh, and please don’t forget to bring my amputee Afghan orphan. But if you can’t, just remember that more than anything Santa, what I really really want is just $10,000,000!

    Anyway, I hope you like the eight-ball I left out for you.

    Love,

    Fran and Joshy

    PS: Please say Merry Christmas to Ralph, the heartless Elfin slavemaster.

    PPS: Oh yeah, and remember Ben? He has been a really corrupt weener all year long and doesn’t deserve any Christmas presents. So please don’t forget to put dog shit in their stocking. Thanks!

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