Create Journals
Update Journals

Journals
Find Users
Random

Read
Search
Create New

Communities
Latest News
How to Use

Support
Privacy
T.O.S.

Legal
Username:
Password:

Typical Teen (pathetic_life) wrote,
@ 2004-04-14 19:45:00
Previous Entry  Add to memories!  Add to Topic Directory  Tell a Friend!  Next Entry

    Current mood: confused

    marc...
    yes me and marc are talking again... and i miss him... i miss him alot.. i love him alot... like he said were retarded for each other.. and i dont doubt it..
    10 months we went out and 6 months of seperation he is finally back... and he finally remembers me.. me the one who was there when work was bad, when he would remember his mom, and just to be there.. and i dont know its like.. in 6 months its like i wonder what made him change his mind about me.. what happened that made him remember me...
    it kind of hurts... sometimes when i think about it.... i just dont know if ill be able to trust him... because he hurt me so much... but he loved me so much... and theres just so much he missed.. and so many things that i wanted him to be apart of... and its like... gah..
    he says he loves me... he says he missed me... but is this just an easy ride... because he knows that im going to miss him?

    i really hope not... i just miss the feeling of someone being close to me and always being there for me... someone in my life i could count on to be there... my family isnt the people to count on for much.. its like my mom thinks im an embarassment... and my dad is like not physically able to do everything and really i think if i were to die right now my sister wouldnt move... she would say she had her own shit to worry about..
    i dont know i miss him more than anything... i miss how similar we were but also how apart we were at the sametime... gah... these tears arent of happiness or sadness anymore they are of confusion... i tried to talk to eric about it last night i just needed someone to listen to just hear what i had to say... but his mom wouldnt leave and eric showed up and im just so FUCKING LOST...
    i just want everything the way it was... i just want happiness and i dont know... i just dont fucking know...
    my mind is spinning in circles and like i want to be with him... i want him right here right now... i want to be able to talk to him and hold him and kiss him like before but i cant... i cant stop remembering what he did to me.. i cant forget the tears i spent on him... i just want it all to go away..
    I WANT MARC... I WANT MY MARC... I WANT MY CRAM... I WANT HIM BACK... I WANT HIM TO TELL ME THAT I AM BEAUTIFUL, THAT IM KIND, THAT IM COOL, THAT IM CARING, I WANT TO HEAR THIS... I WANT TO HEAR ALL OF THIS... I WANT TO KNOW... I JUST NEED TO KNOW THAT THIS IS FOR REAL AND NOT JUST FOR HIS PENIS... I NEED TO KNOW THAT HE REALLY LOVES ME... THAT I MEAN AND I MEANT SOMETHING TO HIM...
    I WISH I COULD TALK TO SOMEONE... I WISH I COULD TALK TO HIM...

    there are so many words sung to me about marc... i miss him, and i hate him... i love him, and i cant stand him...
    i just want some reassurance... I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKIGN WALK AND GET THE HELL OUT OF THIS HOUSE!!!!!



(Read comments)

Post a comment in response:

From:
 
Username:  Password: 
Subject:
No HTML allowed in subject
 

No Image
 

 Don't auto-format:
Message:
Enter the security code below.



Allowed HTML: <a> <abbr> <acronym> <address> <area> <b> <bdo> <big> <blockquote> <br> <caption> <center> <cite> <code> <col> <colgroup> <dd> <dd> <del> <dfn> <div> <dl> <dt> <dt> <em> <font> <h1> <h2> <h3> <h4> <h5> <h6> <hr> <i> <img> <ins> <kbd> <li> <li> <map> <marquee> <ol> <p> <pre> <q> <s> <samp> <small> <span> <strike> <strong> <sub> <sup> <table> <tbody> <td> <tfoot> <th> <thead> <tr> <tt> <u> <ul> <var> <xmp>
© 2002-2008. Blurty Journal. All rights reserved.