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muhahhahahahhahahahahha
ok well... today is very boring... its like yucky outside and i still want to go to the mall but it would be like just me and thats just like GAH
ok.. well i am attemptingnot to bitch because some people dont like it so ill prollt just write it because they all have a choice whether to read or not..
punkchick365: i dont know last night i felt like i needed reassurance that i dont know im wanted... im such a stupid kid
tobgo18: dont worr
tobgo18: you are a cool kid
i dont know why dont i believe him...i just dont anymore... no matter how any times you people say that i dont know ITS JUST NOT BELIEVABLE..
ok well cotillion i have a white dress go me... and like i hope eric goes.. only because if he doesnt i dont know..
yea... people can be stupid i think i want to go to the mall... i think i want to get stuff... i think i want to shield myself with material things for then i feel comfort... like i used to do...
its like people dont want me to be depressed but i cant be happy.. i have a lot of past behinde me and it still affects me... i dont likw to be touched because of glenn.. i dont know... i dont like to be open only because i screw up and tell the wrong people and then they use it against me.. and its not cool..
i dont want to be shielded by a name or things i want to be like HERE I AM... but i dont like the outcomes because not everyone likes them and im stupid and im all about what people want and not what i want for myself..
I DONT WANT TO BE A DISAPPOINTMENT... AND I DONT WANT TO BE SOMETHING IM NOT... but there just isnt a middle to it..
gah... control... what no one has against me... and i dont have myself..
i just need my time and i dont know some how i always lose that time trying to help other people with their problems and i dont like taking my time all the time and helping other people with their shit... and then its like ok im crying so where are you now... i need you and my shoulder is wet because of your tears and my face is wet because you didnt return the favor for me and help me out... THANKS..
i know i have done cool things with people before : taco bell trip, homegoods, school, chorus, tv, but it all just adds up to nothing in the end... they were once in a while things.. and i cant be like that all the time but people still insist that im the funny one and im like that all the time... SORRY BUT IM NOT... I HAVE THINGS IN LIFE TO DO OTHER THAN MAKING YOU LAUGH..
i dont know... everyone just do what you want...
pass me by
leave me alone..
watch me die..
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