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Soooooooo––hm. Ok. Andree has found the journal, which makes me like, "SCORE!!!" and also this is kinda... well. I had to have Andree explain to me the part about how I believe Shout gets the stain out because I don't, really. I use Cheer. Anyways so Andree found the journal and decided to do the list thing, and I was pissed as fuck. I mean, if I tell you that I don't want you reading my journal, and you, like, sniff all over the internet 'til you find it and then post in your journal that ha ha ha neener-neener you've found it, I mean, god damn. But then what else can one expect from Andree Hunt? So I was bitching about it to Tera, and she was going "Yeah, yeah, no I totally understand, yeah, that sucks, yeah," about it, but then later on that night after she had left me to my own devices at Andree's house, this girl I had JUST MET by the name of Jessica mentioned offhand that Tera had told her I had a crush on her (Tera, not Jessica)! Of course! Hilarious, I know. I hadn't realized that I'd have to explain this, since I didn't know that people I knew would be reading my li'l chronicles, but I guess I will: this is not a crush. This is a wanting-to-fuck. Stephanie was a crush... Shakira was a crush... this? This is like, "Fuck you, I'll think about you however the fuck I want." And then masturbating out of spite. So if you're going to regale complete strangers with accounts of my private musings, babe, why don't you take a moment to get them right? Oh! Hornsby! You are my new chuggable friend! When I was lying on the couch at Andree's that night, trying to get to sleep but way too spun to do so, I was thinking... hm. Tonight sucked 'til Tera and Muni left, and I don't think Muni had anything to do with it. With Tera there, in the periphery but refusing to talk or even look me in the eye (so glad I found out why), I felt like I was holding my breath constantly, having to watch myself, watch what I said and how I said it, etc. And it was gay. Lying on the couch that night, I realized that this was the girl over whom I had been pining for what, ten months? This idiot? This cheap weakling? I've been idolizing her? Reading back over my journal entries, yeah, it does look quite a bit like a crush. An obsession, certainly. But I'm over it now. She's what she's become, and I'm who I am now, and that's that. And Andree ended up being not quite the bitch I'd expected. Wonders never cease. By the way... Rick? Awwwww, snap. Oh! And Saturday! Ran into Josh, a semi-friend from long ago whom I hadn't seen in forever, and we had an absolutely amazing conversation in the park about Life, the Universe and Everything, and then yesterday he and I and Khem and Liz went to Venice Beach and that was a party and a half. But it's cigarette time so I shall write more later, if I remember. p.s. Why am I a bad girlfriend??? Post a comment in response: |
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