|Current mood:|| sick|
|Current music:||Christina -- Beautiful|
*off to beddy-by*
::*you are so beautiful...to me...you are so beautiful...to me...you are so beautiful...to me...can't you see...you're everything I hoped for...you're everything I need...you are so beautiful...to me...*::
*giggles* I was singing that to my baby and Justin surprised me! I didn't know he was coming over. He's so sweet. He said when he had been talking to me online just a little while before I seemed so sad and lonely, he thought he'd stop by and help me for the night. And then of course I go and get sick right in front of him. I'm such an idiot. Not like I'm trying to impress him of course. He's just my buddy. Right now he's rocking Travis back and forth, trying to get him to go to sleep. He told me I should be laying down but oh well.
I really don't feel good. I hope I don't get sick like last time. The last thing I need is a shitload of hospital bills to deal with. Justin and Tyler told me if I needed to, I could move in with them. But there's no way I would ever ask them to do that for me. I'm supposed to be able to take care of myself. I'm 21 years old. I have a son. I should be able to provide for myself...right?
I just have to say this. Andy, I know this is just a little online thing right now, but I can't say that I've connected (no pun intended, haha) with anybody as much as I have with you the past couple of days. You're son is your pride and joy, as is mine. You seem like such a gentle and caring guy. Unlike most of the dicks I've encountered. Thank you for offering your support and shoulder to lean on. It means more than the world to me. *muah*
I never did understand why people feel they have to blame somebody for everything. Not everything is somebody's fault. I wish people would get that. Yes, I admit it. I did call her a bitch. I won't sit here and deny that. And yes, I did kiss her boyfriend. LAST YEAR. My gosh. Just get over it already. She acts like such a kid. And just because he told her he wants it to end, doesn't mean it's my fault. People change. Feelings change. Relationships grow apart. If she hasn't learned that by now, I don't think she ever will.
I need a boyfriend. Hmph. lol. Just somebody who loves me. Somebody who will give me a hug when I cry. Somebody who will be there to let me know I'm doing just fine and in the end, everything I've gone through will be worth it. *looks at watch* Eh. I still have time, I guess.
May 23rd -- I get to see Justin! Not this Justin, the other Justin. It's been so long. I know he misses Travis. He's matured quite a lot. I must say, I'm very proud of him. The countdown begins.
Today I learned...
Not everybody can be superwoman or superman. Take each day as it comes. Don't worry about the past or the future. Become entrapped in the present.
Much love and eskimo kisses.