|Current music:||my own guitar|
Forget it... NO Don't! Eat it and then fawn like a virgin mother.
If I get off to a bad start, I will be no good for the rest of the day. Last night I watched the best of the poker world series. The only thing I got from it was a horrible analagy to life. An obvious observation is that most players throw away shit hands before they lose anymore than their ante. Well I personally don't think death is a big deal in fact I think there is a relatively substantial amount of evidence to support reincarnation. So why don't people throw in their shit life before they commit to anymore suffering in hopes of a better hand? And if I'm wrong, if there is no second shot at life and all you do is turn to dirt. So What? How consequential is a shit life. I mean there are very few people in history whose names and action stand the test of time and I'm not a big fan of the consequences those peoples lives have had on this world. So yeah, in other words I have yet to find my place in this world and I'm contemplating if it's worth the trouble to continue the journey. I'm not talking suicide I'm just talking about being an asshole. Just picking up and leaving. Leave my job, my house, my bills, taking my jeep (that I still owe 10k on) and making a trip to mexico, selling the jeep to a chop shop once I get there, then pre-pay a year's rent for some shit-hole hut and then hustle tourists in all the shadiest scams till some drunk victim or local knifes me in a back alley so my Mom and family never know what happened to me because bodies disappear in dumpsters every day there and the police have bribes to collect.