| Current mood: |  crushed |
| Current music: | "A perfect sonnet" Bright eyes |
We're all a little fragile
I'm so messed up I can't even put it into words. I don't know if I want to die, I really don't know. But this is hell. This is worse then hell. I'm just gonna give up. It's been so incredibly hard to hang on to this, and in the end I still end up with nothing. I've been trying to hard to work things out, but reality check, it never will. All it ever does is make me feel like crap. What everyone else doesn't know is that I already feel like crap. Wanting the physical hurt, not for the feeling but because I am horribly mad at myself and I want the emotional hurt to end. I try so hard, and I don't think I should have to feel this way anymore. I hate this so much, does it even matter? He can't possibly hurt this much.
But now there's a new pain. I am incredably, terrifyingly alone. I was planning all these awesome things, and the reality is sinking in; forget it. It won't ever happen, and if it does, I'll end up hurting more. to go camping with her, but now I'm going by myself. I hate this. I'm going to cry.
It's all going to hell.
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