|Current mood:|| confused|
welll its anew year and its already gone down the god damn drain. Iono theres to much bad shit in life to look for the good in it. It almost seems virtually impossible. I dont ven kno what to do nemore. Yea me and justin broke up...WHOOPIE!. and now for some reason which do not undestand, chels wants us to get back together, yet she was celebrating her ass off when we broke up. Iono they both confuse me. I feel like i cant please ne one in this situation, not even myself. I can't please chels b/c all she wants is for me to be happy, nd i'm not. I can't please justin b/c i can't jus leave him alone b/c hs been confusing the fuck outta me ad im jus tryin to make since outta all this. And i can't please myslef b/c i have all this shit over my shoulders, and its jus weighing me down as the days pass by. It seems as tho i felt more for him than i allowed myself to believe, and its showing now. Atleast im feeling it now. I can't tell him half the shit i feel cuz he really doesnt wanna here it, and at this point i really honestly don't kno what to tell him. Maybe i should jus leave him alone, but nothing gets solved by jus leaving it alone. Then again whats there to be solved. After all this i don't even remember nemore. Who knows?? The only thang i've come to so far is i'v lost him AGAIN, for all the wrong reasons, or no reason at all AGAIN. I love chels, but shes the cause of this, everytime, and she doesn't even do nethang, but then again maybe its me, im the imperfect one, im the one everyone judges, im the one whose jus the "sidekick". I'm the one who does a better job than anyone hiding her scars, Im the one who puts on a fake smile everyday, and I'm the one that makes it so real. I'm the one standing there, I'm the one going unnoticed.