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Whatever happened to Saturday night When you dressed up sharp And you felt alright It don't seem the same since cosmic light Came into my life and I thought I was divine. Hot patootie Bless my soul ALL- I really love that rock and roll Hot patootie Bless my soul I really love that rock and roll JANET- Oh Brad, wasn't it wonderful. Didn't Betty look radiantly beautiful? Just an hour ago she was plain old Betty Monroe. Now she's Mrs. Ralph Hapschatt. BRAD- Hey Janet. JANET- Yes Brad. BRAD- I’ve got something to say. JANET- Uh huh? BRAD- THE RIVER WAS DEEP BUT I SWAM IT ALL- JANET BRAD- THE FUTURE IS OURS SO LET’S PLAN IT ALL- JANET BRAD- SO PLEASE DON’T TELL ME TO CAN IT ALL- JANET BRAD- I’VE ON THING TO SAY AND THAT’S DAMMIT, JANET. I LOVE YOU HERE’S A RING TO PROVE THAT I’M NO JOKER DAMMIT, JANET. I LOVE YOU JANET- OH BRAD BRAD- OH DAMMIT JANET- I’M MAD BRAD- OH JANET JANET- FOR YOU TRANSITION (while singing, the castle is constructed and Brad and Janet are in a car) ALL- SCIENCE FICTION, DOUBLE FEATURE DR. X WILL BUILD A CREATER (Driving.) JANET- What's the matter Brad, darling? BRAD- I think we took the wrong fork a few miles back. JANET- Oh Dear! (BANG) What was that bang? BRAD- We must have a blow-out. You'd better sit here and keep warm while I go for help. JANET- Where will you go? We’re in the middle of nowhere. BRAD- Didn’t we pass a castle a few miles back? Maybe they have a phone I can use. JANET- I’m coming with you. JANET- (singing) In the velvet darkness Of the blackest night Burning bright There's a guiding star BRAD AND JANET- There's a light CHORUS- Over at the Frankenstein place RIFF RAFF- Hello. BRAD- Hi there, uh, our car broke down two miles back, do you have a telephone we might use…? RIFF RAFF- You’re wet. I think you better come inside. JANET- You’re too kind. RIFF RAFF- You’ve arrived on rather a special night, the master is having one of his affairs. (singing) I REMEMBER DOING THE TIME WARP DRINKING THOSE MOMENTS WHEN THE BLACKNESS WOULD HIT ME AND THE VOID WOULD BE CALLING ALL LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN RIFF RAFF- ITS JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT ALL- AND A STEP TO THE RIGHT RIFF RAFF- PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HIPS ALL- YOU BRING YOUR KNEES IN TIGHT BUT ITS THE PELVIS THRUST THAT STARTS TO DRIVE YOU INSANE LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN JANET- It seems so unhealthy here. I want to go BRAD- We cant go anywhere until I get a phone. (FRANK APPEARS) FRANK- HOW DO YOU DO DON’T GET STRUNG OUT BY THE WAY I LOOK DON’T JUDGE A BOOK BY ITS COVER IM NOT MUCH OF A MAN BUT THE LIGHT OF DAY BUT BY NIGHT IM ONE HELL OF A LOVER IM JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE FROM TRANSSEXUAL TRANSYLVANIA. SO COME UP TO THE LAB AND SEE WHAT’S ON THE SLAB IM JUST A SWEET TRANSVESTITE FROM TRANSSEXUAL TRANSYLVANIA (Servants undress Brad and Janet. They are reduced to 50’s under where) COLOMBIA- You’re very lucky to be invited up to Frank’s laboratory. MAGENTA- A lot of people would give their right arm for the privilege. JANET- People like you maybe. MAGENTA- I’ve seen it. (They go to Frank’s lab) FRANK- Tonight Brad and Janet, you are to witness a new breakthrough in Biochemical research and paradise is to be mine… My beautiful creature is destined to be born. Throw open the switches on the Sonic Oscillator! (Rocky, a buff, beautiful man enters. He continuously flirts with Janet throughout the rest of the play) FRANK- HE ATE NUTRITIOUS HIGH-PROTEIN AND SWALLOWED RAW EGGS HE DONE PUSH UPS AND CHIN UPS WHEN IN JUST SEVEN DAYS I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (Scene changes while Frank sings the following line) I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (Janet’s bedroom) JANET- (cuddling with Frank) Oh Brad (kiss) Yes my darling FRANK- Everything is going to be alright Janet. JANET- I hope so darling. (notices its frank) You! You beast! You monster! (scene changes to Brad’s room as Frank sings) FRANK- I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN (Brad’s room) FRANK- (cuddling with Brad) Oh Brad (kiss) Yes my darling. BRAD- Everything is going to be alright Janet. FRANK- I hope so my darling. (kiss) (Janet walks in on them kissing) JANET-Oh Brad, how could you?! (she runs out of the room and sees Rocky) ROCKY-Is it true you don’t like men with too many muscles? (as he flexes) JANET- (she sees how attractive he is and in a flirty manner replies with) Well…(Rocky kisses her) JANET- (singing) TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH-A TOUCH ME I WANT TO BE DIRTY THRILL ME CHILL ME FULFILL ME CREATURE OF THE NIGHT (Frank sees Janet singing and dancing awfully close to Rocky) FRANK-Rocky!(in anger) I think I’m going to… (looks at Janet) You! Riff Raff, set the sonic transducer to program 8 and secure all levels at zero. (Riff Raff looks at him like he’s crazy) JANET- You mean, you’re going to send us to another planet? FRANK- You’d better believe, baby. (singing) PLANET SHMANET JANET TELL YOU ONCE WONT TELL YOU TWICE YOU’D BETTER WISE UP JANET WEISS (Janet looks at Brad in fear) JANET- Say Something Brad! BRAD-I’m here Janet. There’s nothing to worry about.(really dramatic) Dammit Janet! I love you! (kiss) FRANK- DON’T GET HOT AND FLUSTERED USE A BIT OF MUSTARD (as the ensemble sings, Frank starts killing them off) ALL- YOU’RE A HOT DOG BUT YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO HURT HER FRANK FURTER RIFF RAFF- (pointing laser gun at Frank) YOU’RE A HOT DOG BUT YOU BETTER NOT TRY TO HURT HER FRANK FURTER RIFF RAFF- Now Frank-N-Furter, you’re time has come. JANET- That’s a laser! FRANK-Do you worst, inferior one. (Riff shoots at Frank, he ducks, and the laser hits Colombia. Frank is next to be shot, followed by Rocky) JANET- You’ve killed them. RIFF RAFF- Yes. A decision had to be made. Back to the planet of transsexual! MAGENTA- Ah Sweet Transsexual… And our world will do the Time Warp again. MAGENTA AND RIFF RAFF- ITS THAT PELVIS RUSH THAT REALLY DRIVES YOU INSANE ALL- LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN MAGENTA- I FEEL SO DREAMY OH FANTASY FREE ME ALL- LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN RIFF RAFF- ITS ASTOUNDING, TIME IS FLEETING MAGENTA AND RIFF RAFF- MADNESS TAKES ITS TOLL RIFF RAFF- ITS JUST A JUMP TO THE LEFT ALL- AND A STEP TO THE RIGHT RIFF RAFF- PUT YOUR HAND ON YOUR HIPS ALL- YOU BRING YOUR KNEES IN TIGHT BUT ITS THE PELVIS THRUST THAT STARTS TO DRIVE YOU INSANE LETS DO THE TIME WARP AGAIN Post a comment in response: |
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