| Current mood: |  depressed |
everything is messed up. i miss sean liek you wouldn't imagine. i wish i could take away all the memories and just forget about him. but i can't. i want him to be completely gone from my heart but at the same time i am dying with out talking to him. i miss his laugh, the way he looked at me, they way he held and kissed me the way that he always would smoke his ciggarette and blow the smoke in my face. i miss everything. i am still crazy about the kid. when i saw him today i just melted. its amazing how after all the hurt hes done to me he can still give me butterflies the second i hear a skateboard comming my way. i hate how he controls my emotions with out even knowin it. whenever i didn't talk to him for the day i would automatically think something was wrong , but now i would kill to just get a simple ' hey what u doin ? ' . i hate being this way with him. and i hate it that alexis has him and i don't. i want to be selfish and have him again. he was the best thing that happened to me since will. and will was my first love which means a lot. and now sean totally overpowered him and dominated any feelings that remained for will. they are all gone and now i'm just a lump of emptyness..
sigh i miss you so much you don't even know
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