Nokomis (nokomis) wrote, @ 2003-07-08 18:50:00

I haven't updated this in forever, it feels like.

Family.

I'm a little amused at my family at the moment. My mom's father died, and it's like the kids are all celebrating. Mom's sister Gina is apparantly taking a video camera to the funeral tomorrow, just to record the festivities. Ricky (mom's brother) joked that it would probably make America's funniest home videos. I'm not going, I have no desire to go to the funeral of a man I met exactly once in my life, to be surrounded by Mom's family, and feel out of the place and awkward.

During lunch, Ricky says, "You know, we got him cremated."

Mom, laughing, "Wasn't his one request to not get cremated?"

Ricky "yep."

Mom "I wish I could be there to watch."

Then comments about how no one would have paid six grand for a funeral.

*rolls eyes* And people thought my emotional reactions in my fics (namely In the Pines) were unrealistic. I based them on reality.

I'm not the slightest bit upset over him dying, though. I never even gave him much thought, to tell the truth. I didn't even know his name till I was about thirteen or fourteen- It honestly never occured to me to wonder about my mom's dad. I always knew she had a bad upbringing, and that she was in foster care and lived with random relatives before meeting Dad, and though it might seem odd to other people, I honesty never even thought about her dad. I knew Granny Joanne, saw her occasionally, and was a little sad when she died, though we all knew that was going to happen. I've always just been a lot closer to my dad's parents, Mamaw and Papaw. I don't even know what I'm supposed to call Mom's dad... Whenever it came up, "your dad" was all I'd say. That says something about how close we all are. And I refuse to go tomorrow... Mom's family makes me feel so awkward. I mean, my cousin Candice will be there. SHe's a year younger than me, has been to juvie more times than we can count, and has a boyfriend named 'Bone' who is currently incarcerated. Then there's all the other bad stuff that comes along with those people. It's terrible, probably, to feel this way about people I share blood with, but quite frankly I don't care.

I should stop now.

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