|Current mood:|| restless|
The Smashed Lil Pun'kin
People keep telling me that everyday I will think about Travis less and less. And while I dont cry as much now, I still think about him all the time. Everyday I miss him more. Some of you might say Im obsessed, but I really liked him. I dont want to say I loved him but it was pretty close. There's so many things I miss about him. People told me to move on, get over it, make some new friends and meet new potentials. I tried, but thats not what I want. I dont want to move on. I want to move back, back with Trav. He meant a lot to me you guys if you couldnt tell. Every morning when I woke up, with the sun peering through the blinds, I thought about how I was going to see him, and I was glad. Hence why I nicknamed him my "sunshine." Then at school, I was able to endure those 50 minutes by reminding myself that I would see him for another 5 precious minutes, o how much I cherished them. He was such a nice guy, someone to hold onto, to hug, to think about. I even would visit him at work after school. And every night from 9-11 we would talk, non-stop, no pauses, and it was fun, and good. We had a lot of small things in common and he was a great conversationalist. He had so many cute mannerisms too (as well as a cute body, face, and sense of fashion). Like when he said Mhmmm! or Oh No mam! or... O MY GOD! There is so much more that I liked being with him for, so much that it overwhelms me. Too hard to put into words. By now you probably want to know why Im telling you all this. Im writing this and telling you this because I cant tell him. I swore to him I would leave him alone and let him do what he wants, and to never bother him again. Maybe one day he will realize that when I told him I liked him for this reason or that, I meant it. It wasn't a "head game" or bullshit or whatever people tend to do in relationships. I dont even know what else to write now. Im tired of trying to make sense of it all. Im just going to try to go to sleep before our breakup anniversary arrives I guess. G'nite...