|Current mood:|| bored|
|Current music:||The Hot Boys-Guerilla Warfare|
Been a long time....
I havent written in this journal in a while. I guess its cuz i have the same feelings over and over, and I dont see any point in writing the same journal entry a dozen times. Feeling of being overworked. How it feels to come home and be lonely every night. Feeling so far from my family. Same ole stuff....
Today was the Super Bowl. And I absolutely hated both teams involved. Philly....hate them bitches with a passion. New England.....hate them hoe ass niggaz wit a passion. So I didnt watch the game at all. I saw....2 plays maybe while i was flipping thru. I had no interest at all in that bullshit. Fuck everyone involved.....and they family and friends.
And to fully express how I feel...the great poet B.G....formerly of Cash Money From the Juvenile Classic Track "Fuck That Nigga"
"Fuck him, ya heard me (fuck him)
Fuck his whole clique, nigga (fuck 'em all)
Ya don't like me, I don't like you, nigga (I don't like ya, nigga)
You don't like me, that mean you don't like my clique
I don't like you, that mean I don't like YOU.....
The niggas ya fuck with, the niggas you affiliate with, ya heard me
Any nigga who speak to ya, nigga, dap you up, nigga....
Fuck you and all them too, nigga, ya heard me"
I couldn't have said it better myself B.G.
My mother called me today from a Super Bowl get together. I told her that I was at home baking a pie and not watching the super bowl and she laughed and thought I was lying. She like....really did NOT believe me. I had to convince her that I indeed had no interest at all in the super bowl. I guess parents dont picture their children as losers. It makes me think of how much stuff I've hid from my parents...going all the way back to high school. My getting bullied. The pain and rejection. The extreme lonliness of college. Then the EXTREME lonlieness of the real world after college, with me constantly moving and all the pain and helplessness. I mean...they knew to some extent, cuz some stuff you just cant hide. But there's alot that they dont know. I guess you never picture your child in that way. I need to hurry up and get my munney straight so i can go to the humaine society and get this cat that i've wanted for so long. That will help alot with my lonliness. Its hard tho when I have to buy plane tickets every other month. October....thanksgiving....Christmas....now i have to buy a ticket home for early march. I'm very excited to go home for my mother's ordination....without question. Its just a burden financially.