Ann
My sister Ann died early Thursday morning. She was diagnosed with cervical cancer in June. From the beginning she didn't catch a single break medically speaking. A week after learning of the diagnosis, she confided to me just how bad it was, how it was already advanced. She found a doctor she liked and decided on a treatment plan. She did two regimens of chemotherapy but neither had any significant effect. The four months since the diagnosis passed so fast, and none of us could keep up, that is, even when I thought I was facing the reality of this, I couldn't quite grasp just how fast it was progressing. I don't think anyone could. Several years ago Ann's best friend, Val, died of ovarian cancer. Val lived with her cancer for years, at a couple points so much time had passed that I thought she must have beaten it. I think now, though I was unaware of it at the time, I must have unconsciously used Val's experience as a template. At any rate, none of us thought time would be so short.
Ann had been in the hospital for pain issues and was released on Monday. I was in touch with either her or with Rob, her partner for more than 20 years, nearly every day and we planned to drive down to Salinas on Thursday. However on Wednesday evening we got a call that things were not good, so we all drove down that night. Several friends were already at their house, and we spent several hours there, visiting and talking with Ann one or two people at a time. There wasn't time to talk about all the things we would have liked to, but it was a good visit, Ann was lucid and glad to see everyone, she would get short of breath easily and had to talk slowly, but she said she hoped to have three or four more weeks to see more of everyone. We left late that night and planned to visit again maybe the next day. Ann passed away around 4 a.m. the next morning, October 22, the same date our dad died in 1994. She was 47.
My sister had an amazingly accomplished life. She was easily the smartest one in our family, she earned a PhD from Berkeley and a JD from Boalt School of Law, and taught (at different times, sociology and criminal justice) at the Univ. of Texas El Paso and then at San Jose State Univ. She traveled extensively, she loved dogs, and she was most responsible for introducing me to Led Zeppelin. We fought like demons as kids and were great friends as adults. I'll miss her terribly. I should say that having Mary-Jane in my life has made all the difference going through this, on my own I would be a complete wreck. I mostly worry about my mom and about Rob. I should also say that Ann could not have had a better and more supportive partner than him.
At a later date I'll try to post some pictures here.
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