|broken smile-starless sky-end it all-say goodbye. (nirvana4) wrote,|
@ 2003-09-12 22:04:00
|Current mood:|| sad|
|Current music:||Stabbing Westward - Breathe You In|
what else can i say? everyone is gay.
all in all, i'd say this was a shitty night. tomorrow night isn't looking any better either. i just looked at my horoscope for tomorrow.. it might as well have said: YOU'RE FUCKED. instead of blah blah blah bad day blah blah nothing will be right blah blah blah.
yeah so anyway, tonight was just bad. umm, my mom found out about my cut up arm and wrist. UHH I HAVE PROBLEMS MOM. YA WANNA LISTEN TO ME THIS TIME? NO? OKAY. I'LL DO IT UNTIL AGAIN AND AGAIN UNTIL MY FUCKING POINT GETS ACROSS. so, after she left, i went downstairs and watched beauty and the beast (which i cried my eyes out to.) i don't even know why. i'm just a mess. but everyone feels like this. RIGHT MOM?
*sigh* i miss joey so much. he makes me feel so much better, but i know he's out getting totally wasted, not even thinking about me. girls, alcohol, pot. me? no. i really don't blame him, i really don't know why he's even putting up with my shit. i remember the eighth grade trip, i was totally miserable the whole time becasue he liked someone else. i couldn't take it anymore. i wanted to jump off the boat. i didn't/couldn't think of anything but him, but never even looked at me the whole time. when i got home, i went straight to my room and cried myself to sleep. i kept listening to epiphany by staind over and over and over. probably 100078 times just that night. my heart was broken into a million pieces. it was the first time i was ever hurt like that. unfortunatly, it wasn't the last either.
i was going to ask him to come to sam's tomorrow night, but he probably has better things to do.
told you it's a bad night.
oh, and i ate too much.
i'll write more when there's a purpose.