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Nicole (nicjournal) wrote,
@ 2003-01-10 16:43:00
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    Week in review
    This was a great week. I was a total ball of nerves after this weekend. I had hit an emotional wall and ran into some timing issues with one of my monologues and was starting to freak out again. It made me wonder if I am, in fact, still just telling myself that it doesn't matter if I don't get into school this year because I have plenty of other other things to still do as an artists. Well who the hell cares if I'm just telling myself that! At least it's a good thing to know. And if I'm a mess if I don't get in then I just have to start doing everything I was going to do anyway and I'll be fine. God! I really need to shut my brain off and leave myself alone already. Jeez...

    But this week I feel good. I performed my monologues for a group of friends Tuesday night and then another friend on Thursday. I think that helped tremendously. I needed to do these for other people. I was like a caged bird or something, I think. It diffused my nerves just to give me the confidence of knowing that yes, I CAN get up in front of other people and do these things. I did all 12 monologues I know. They went pretty well, overall. But on Tuesday I was really tense and I had not done a physical warmup and that really showed. It was a big lesson learned. That was their only major comment - the physical tension. Katja gave me some excellent comments last night and we did a pretend interview as well, which was helpful. I think I will work through a few things tonight. I might do them for Patty this weekend and then J and I work again on Sunday morning. I still have not decided for sure whether to do the Merchant of Venice or the Precious Damsels piece for the classical for URTA. I think I've worked out the time problem so that either one of them would work. The girls on Tuesday liked Precious Damsels more, and Katja LOVED the Portia piece. So that doesn't help, obviously. Why does art have to be so damn subjective?!

    I still need to get a song together in case anyone asks me to sing. I don't have long to do it. But it's not the biggest priority either. I'll call Jeff this weekend to see if he can help me out.

    I got an email from this guy who is giving me his place to stay at in Chicago. I can't believe how unbelievably nice he is. He offered to pick me up at the airport, show me around, wanted to know what I like to do so he could plan some activities if I had time to do some fun stuff... I could hardly believe it, coming from this total stranger. Now I'm really starting to look forward to the trip as a trip, not just a bunch of auditions. It really helps that this guy is making me feel so welcome. Too bad he's gay. Sigh.


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