The road to the MFA and other (mis)adventures in theatre
OK, so I'm starting this handy dandy little journal to log my experience preparing for graduate theatre programs, and also to log the actual program experience (if, God willing I actually get into one). I suppose it's somewhat narcissistic to think that anyone else might actually be interested in these experiences, but at some point some other poor schmuck I know might be crazy enough to try to be an actor and want to read about what I went through. So here goes... My auditions are in February in Chicago. I will be there for eight days. Oy. First is DePaul, then the Denver Center, then URTA (in which I'll be auditioning for like 30 schools all at once) and finally Yale. Yeah, I aim high. But there's a lot of crap out there so you have to or it's just not worth it. So I'm knee deep in applications at this point and I can't wait to get them all in the mail. In addition to DePaul, Yale and Denver, I'm also applying to Northern Illinois University and Rutgers. So that's 3 letters of recommendation (X 5), plus about 20 copies of my transcripts (at $5 a pop), plus application fees ranging from $30 to $80 each. Then there's the flight to Chicago and food and lodging there. Fortunately I'll be able to stay with my dad in St. Louis part of the time during the 4-day lag with no auditions for free. But all in all, I figure it's going to cost me almost $1000 just to APPLY. But the most important this is to view this as an experience and a journey, not just a destination. I probably sound like Oprah, but it's true. While everyone I know has every confidence that I'm going to get in, not many of them understand how competitive these programs are. Most only accept 8-10 people, which means only about 4 women. And it's all subjective, so if I don't get in I have to be secure enough to know it has nothing to do with my talent. But they may not understand that. That puts a lot of pressure on me, and it's irritating. But best to put that out of my mind for now because I need to stay focused.... Two weeks til Christmas and I cannot get in the spirit at all. There's simply too much to do. I've got to get all these applications in the mail before Christmas - not for deadlines, but for my sanity. And then really buckle down on my monologues. I've been working with my acting coach and friend, J, on these things since September and we're just starting on the third one. I only need one classical and one modern, but I'm preparing two sets of two and then will pick the strongest one. Once I get a handle on those four, I hope to have time to prepare at least 4 others to have "in my back pocket" ready to pull out and perform in case any of the auditors asks to see something else. It's been known to happen and it's always a good idea. The work with J has been both artistically exhilarating and supremely frustrating. We started out very slow and are now picking up the pace quite a bit, mostly fueled by my anxiety over time. The process is very emotional and much of the preparatory work internal, so it's not like just rehearsing something by rote and doing it over and over and over again. Each time I do the monologues there are subtle changes and there is a sense of spontaneity and improvisation. It's great and exciting but scary as hell, because you don't always know where your emotions are going to take you. It's based in the Meisner process, and so riding your character's emotional life is the whole point. But when you don't have another person to respond off of (which is usually my life raft) it takes some getting used to. Another challenge with the work is that because I am also very good friends with my coach, we've had to be very disciplined. It's easy to let yourself sit around and talk for the first hour or so and just shoot the shit before you actually start working but then the work turns out like shit if you fall into that trap. We're going to have to buckle down and really be even more aware of that in these last two months of work. I will be very glad when all the apps are in the mail and I feel more confident about the 4 pieces. When I am practicing them and just making improvements. Right now, I still feel a bit like I am floundering. THe goal is to get the apps done by the beginning of next week and then focus focus focus on the monologues. I will have no life until mid-February. Fortunately, I have wonderful friends who understand. I went to Katja's last night to look through a bunch of her old monologue material for ideas of things I can work up to have on hand "just in case." She's been there and done that and totally understands what I'm going through. It's nice to have that support system. We also started talking about a satire we should write based on our romantic woes over the last year: it would be based on "Touched by an Angel" and we would call it "Touched by an Asshole." Sheer brilliance!
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