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Where my boys at?!
I've got a lot of things on my mind. My life is changing rather quickly and I am grabbing at the things and the people from my past. I got the best news ever on Friday! I got the job @ PCSO. I am officially an ARMS Specialist. I am taking my polygraph on Wednesday and then I have to take my drug test and get fingerprinted. I wish my dad was still here to see my accomplishments.
Now, I need to get a new place to live. Now, do I go for a house or an apartment? People are talking to me about a house, but I don't know what I really want. I have always said that I wanted an apartment, but right now mortgage payments and rent are so close in price you might as well get a house! Plus, I am working all day and then coming home and working on the place I live in now so I can move.
Plus, last night I had 2 dreams about David. Nothing sexual, he was just in the dreams and we were hanging out in the dream. Now I miss him. I called and left a message out of the blue. Yeah, he didn't call me back. It hurts. I thought we were friends and I can't imagine what happened. 2nd, I have a picture that was a favorite of mine and Anthony's, (we both own it), and every time I see it I think of him. I miss him desperately. Best friends for 6 years and then he gets a new girl/f and bails. I emailed him 4 or 5 months ago. He never wrote back. I'd give anything to hug him just once. 3rd, John, he's busy and has a lot going on in his "relationship" so we usually only see each other at work for a few minutes. I wish we could make time to hang out more. He's great. I guess I am just not feeling loved. I miss my guys! Two of them are being f'ing assholes for no reason. They screwed me over and when I try to get a hold of them and say "Hey, let's work through this", they hide. Whoever said older men are mature they were f'cked in the head!!! All these men are over 40 and they act like 5 year olds. Of course, I LOVE older guys and only date guys at least 10 years older than me, but they all act like children. Ugh. No wonder I have been single for so long.
PS- This is the sweetest song ever!
"If it wasn't for him I would still be searching. If it wasn't for him. I wouldn't know my best friend. If it wasn't for him he would be able to see. If it wasn't for him he would be as happy as me" - Relient K
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