| Current mood: |  distressed |
| Current music: | evansence: my immortal |
I'm making some definite changes in my life
Change #1: i'm never saying anything mean behind anyone's back or to anyone's face ever again.
Change #2: i'm gonna enjoy my life and stop complaining about it because life could be worse
Change #3: i'm gonna stop being so scared to be in a serious relationship
Change #4: i'm gonna stop listening to rap so much because i think it depresses me
Change #5: i'm not going to listen to my friends tell me how much they hate their life. so if you are one of those people who likes to complain, STOP. because think about how much worse it could be.
Change #6: i'm gonna try really really hard to stop caring so much about what others think of me, and try to love myself more. this could be my hardest one.
Change #7: i'm not going to let another chance to be happy slip right through my fingers.
-i heard from jayme that a girl at foley killed herself. and i thought, how can a person hate their life so much? how can they not want to live? how horrible must that feeling be? i remember last year when i didn't really feel like living anymore. i just wanted to give up. but deep down i know i didn't. i knew i was still needed and i knew i was still loved. and this girl, she just had nothing. when you have nothing to live for anymore, whats the point of living? it's such a horrible way to end your life. how much must it hurt to have no friends...people making fun of you...it would damn hurt. and i feel so awful about anyone i've ever said things about. and i won't even try to deny that i haven't. nobody deserves to hear stuff like that. so i'm never going to do it again. i can honestly make that promise. i dont ever want to be even close to the cause of someone else's misery like that. all i want to do now is just make people smile. i want people to be happy. i want people to remember me as someone that could make them smile. not cry.
sweet dreams everyone -
<3always<3
Mariya
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