|Current mood:|| morose|
|Current music:||thinking of you - a perfect circle|
i feel sad. i dont know why. it just sorta came over me right now. so um... i cant go to annettes house this week... i forgot to do the dishes for one night so now i cant go anywhere... gotta be responsible, cant forget. i dunno, that just seems pretty fucked cause my mom will watch the baby whenever chelle wants to go anywhere and she never cleans up shit, but here i am i never even fucking ask to go anywhere that often and i not only do my chores but chelle's too and i screw up once and i get nothing. whatever. i'm over this house, i'm over my life. now i just all of that was over, period.
so last nite something was happening in the Snowden/Carnell/Blair residence... i dunno what it was. but my mommy had to leave and go for a drive to clear her head i guess, and when i went downstairs robert was just sorta sitting there in the dark solemnly with his eyes closed and his hand over his face... thats actually why i didnt do the dishes, didnt wanna disturb his... meditation/thinking/whatever he was doing, but whatever. it had something to do with church... i think i know what.
and i think i know whats gonna happen... why i wont be there next year. i think... but the only thing that doesnt quite fit is whats gonna happen to my mommy... robert did what he was suppose to, i got sidetracked obviously, and my mom is just... i dunno how she fits into everything. but one thing i did think about was what was gonna happen once we leave... and that really scares me.
im tired. i'm gonna go do dishes now. bye bye.