| Current mood: |  cranky |
| Current music: | ::No Letting Go - Wayne Wonder:: |
HHHHHEEELLLLPPPP!!!!!
Hey! I need somone to call 911 right now cause I think in about anotha 5 min. I'm gone! I can't take it no more I done had an overdose of Nae and Ty and I can't take anymore. It's too much trying to handle that along with Midol I'm gettin overwhelmed. I'm so tired and I want to get shit done! I feel like a useless being. Theres so many things that I need to get done and I'm just hear watching time fly. I mean I'm gettin aggravating seeing the only progression going on in other people's lives. I mean I'm thrill happy yaddah yaddah but I mean I want some happiness for myself too. I feel so alone, but how do you tell that to people who swear your life is madd sweet. Don't get me wrong I love my baby and he's always making sure I'm aight but I dunno I feel so incomplete in other areas of my life. Today is Christmas Eve and yet I'm still not feeling this Christmas vibe. Hopefully by tonight I could get the wholesome feeling when I go to church. I swear it's because "they" changed Midnight Mass that thats why I'm not into Christmas this year. Wuteva Me and Mom Dukes are suppose to go to church, go to T.G.I.Friday, and drive around and look at decorations. Cheesy but I think thats what we need right about now. I think it's kinda funny how everyone is lost in X-mas. People are so stuck on what they want, who's going to give it to them, and if they get something bad what they're going to do. I mean come on when people start practicing fake smiles and thank you and think about how fast they could return or exchange theres a big problem. This year I really just want to Help I want to feel like I'm making a difference like going to Nursing Home, and the food bank felt good. One Lady at the nursing home pulled me to the side just to tell me How nice it was for us (Dance Club) to take time and sing and dance to people we don't even know. I dunno Christmas just ain't the same anymore especially with the phoniness involved in families and greed and envy taking over everyone's mind. I just want to skip to the next holiday. I mean I'm all down for New Years and I'm ready to party and get temporarily relief from the horrors of reality. Well I'm out my friend.
P.S. It's pretty funny how I can't really talk to people anymore. Rhay Rhay who is the only other person who I confide in after D, Genie, and Shivon has been dealing with his own stuff so I mean your pretty much it. By the way last nite he called me around midnite w/Alric and he was actin real weird talkin like I need to look after you, and how I played him, and he kept callin' me HIS Kinta. It's was crazy anyway my fav cousin has called to rescue me.
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