| Current mood: |  cheerful |
| Current music: | :: Offically Missing You - Tamia :: |
Missing Blurty
I'm so sorry! I feel like the biggest traitor in the world! You see AOL 9.0 came out with this diary thing and it seemed so easy and stuff but realistically I like you a whole lot better. I haven't written in the longest of time and you need an update. Well Tony's birthday is coming up and I wanted to get him a really good present and I was saving up I had 40 of it and then poof someone comes and takes it... so now I'm back at point one, and worst of all he doesn't even want the game I was planning on giving him anyway. I know I'll feel like the biggest asshole in the world if I don't get him anything just for the simple fact I'm his girl and everyone else seems like they pretty much treat it like another day! I want him to feel really really special. I don't know I have till thurs to come up with 50 dollars and change.
Guess what!!!!! My mother has gone mad she wanted me to pack up and move to the murder spot. She had to be out her god damn mind. She tooks us to see the place and everything and I couldn't take it. I don't think anybody realizes how hard its gonna be for me now. I mean not only cause Tony is in the picture but I mean the 94 is right there and so is the 31. When I stay after school all I have to do is walk around the corner. And now she just bought a studio apartment in SO. Studio apartments are nice for college but I want my own space right about now. I love my mother and shes my best friend but COME ON!!!! Then my beloved sister called the other day cause shes been helping out and she comes up with this place in ROSELLE!!!!!!!!!!!! I wanted to murder her. I don't want to be a whole mile away from Tony. My mother claims I'll be driving like tomorrow but I know shes good for procastination and so I don't wanna take chances.
Umm. . . I went to that retreat with my school. It was okay I mean the food was horrible some people were annoying but it was alright. I finally got to walk that labyrinth thing and that was cool cause I got a chance to think real hard. It felt good especially the comfort that was offered to everyone when they were done. I wouldn't hesitate to do it again the retreat on the other hand was one I rather wait to agree too.
I talked to Shivon yesterday my sister. I love her soooo much. She listens to everything and she soo smart etc... I really hope she and mr. man have a good future cause they seem like they would balance each other out. I feel so disconnected from my friends, that was one of those things I really hope wouldn't occur. I don't really like talking about Tony to them just for the simple fact I know not everyone is thrilled and cares to hear. Come to think about it the only person who honestly listen to me and offer advices whenever is the same person who seems so scared of the thought of ME and Tony which is my mother. I don't know lately I feel so alone like theres no one really there to listen. Tony listens but somethings I still can't talk about it like how selfconcious my keloids make me. He hasn't even once bought them up and usually that would be good cause it shows it doesn't bother him but I feel like he should acknowledge my flaws! I'm just weird.
I called my god mother on Thanksgiving and boy oh boy does that family irritates me. I mean they have disconnected me so much and love to blame everything on me. She had the nerves to say I haven't heard from you in so long and if I did I would've taken you to Pennsylvania with me for thanksgiving. I told her that maybe if she picked up the phone and called me then that would've been possible. I mean shit who told them the world revolves around them! I meant to call my dad for real on his birthday but how ironic that my mother couldn't find her phonebook maybe it was a sign.
Kei's thing is almost here so I will be free from slavery. I kinda had fun like I'm gonna miss Paul, and Omar. They made me laugh all the time, and I love dancing so it was like dance classes for free. Speaking of dance I'm doing this festival of lights shit at my school. I wish I was enrolled currently at a dance school everyone there makes me feel so useless including Regine. I mean I could do the steps and stuff but look at the kicks and the jumps. I want to dance, and how am I suppose to go to college and be one of those dancers if I haven't danced in the longest of time. Wuteva that's how my life goes
How have you been! Christmas is coming up! I'm so excited. My sister is tryin to have christmas at her house meaning time for me and my baby to spend the day together hopefully. I got an outfit and everything. It's a black sweater that goes off my shoulder and a plaid pleated short skirt that is black and burgundy and a lil white in it. Only if I had a burgundy santa hat and black stilleto ankle boots it would tip off everything.Wuteva I just need to hurry up and get out of school, but then again the sooner I get to christmas the more I need money to get tony another present. HE OWES ME for my birthday cause this is just too stressing! Neway I'm gettin off I'll talk to you as soon as possible.
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