| Current mood: |  discontent |
today is just one of those day where i just feel worthless..i don't feel beautiful inside or out..especially out..so so tired of being concerned about my looks and obsessing over my imperfections.. it's just so shallow and superficial and that makes me feel even worse..no matter how many people or how many times someone tells me i am pretty or beautiful it doesn't affect me but all it takes is one negative criticism about my appearance to get me really self conscious and depressed..another thing bothering me is that i feel like i'm not going to get the full college experience..a part of me wants to go away to a university and stay in a dorm , meet new people and be a total stranger... san jac is just like high school and u of h will probably be the same.. i don't want to leave steven though..i wish i knew whether or not i am important to him..you can tell me i am but it's not as meaningful as showing me..
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