| Current mood: |  depressed |
| Current music: | setuik de nami |
not really having the best time here, im definatly feeling like im on a very very steep downhill spiral and what ever i seem to do i cant get out of it, i jsut come home or spend time by myself and feel unterly depressed, im really not being dramtic here this is really how i feel. like otday i found out that i was the only one not invited to one of my closest firends d oat her house, you have no idea how much that hurts, it really does. i mean its bad enough that i dont feel like i fit it but this was once again just the icing on the cake. ive also realised how much people bitch and it makes me wonder what people say about me, even my best friend. people wonder why i dont like trusting them. also found out that some guy i like, likes soemone else. which isnt upsettin its jsut, well annoying, god good lets not get carried away with him im not in love him, jsut a lil silly teenage crush, but its still annoying, also it odesnt help my shamlessly low self esteam. thing is i havnet met anyone new in so long, i would love to meet some new people, i havent really seen anyone who i think is good looking in aaaaaaaaagggggggeeeeeeessssssss, and i know that even if i do find someone they never go for people like me, i mena come on how many guys fancy girls liie me?! im obssessed with anime, playstation 2 video games and some other weird stuff, it also doesnt help when i have amazingly pretty friends like ella carys and lizzie ect. you feel like poeple look straight past you and to them. god im sick of having no luck!
things with me and andrew are so mcuh better,then again maybe its jsut because i said in another post that i was unhappy, its horribul i feel like i always end up following him around, and i only do it because hes my best friend. i jsut want to spend time with ihm. id never ever ask him to stop seeing his girlfriend (becasue well, shes his girlfriend) asking that of him is just plain wrong and i know how important band practice is to him. its sjut someone liek me i jsut want to fit in, and when im with my best firned i do feel so much better. but im worried about getting 'clingy' and when i worry imi worried that i annoy him which makes me scared that he jsut goes off to luce or rhys and jsut bitches about me.
well i guess thats my little depressve out burst for now, lol sorry for putting you threw that.
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