crying doesn't help if your tears freeze (PUBLIC)
John is amazingly fun to be with.
That may sound really creepy and stalkerish, but I don't know. I never really had many friends back home. I mean, yeah, I had friends, but not friends friends, you know? Not people I could talk to and trust. I was popular, and I hated it because everyone wanted to use me to get popular too. I learned the hard way that most people who smile at you are hiding a big rusty knife behind their back.
So it's a breath of fresh air to be able to hang out with him, and just say what's on my mind. I don't have to watch what I say because no matter what bad things I say he says something worse. LOL
I'm glad the Professor let me get a job. I was feeling so useless lying around all summer. Admittedly, I'm probably going to feel more useless at "Burger King", but at least it's something, right? And maybe if I save up enough money I can get a car, or something. And I can call it... The Ice-Mobile! Ba dun PSH.
What was I talking about again? Oh yeah, John. So how did I get to Burger King? LOL
So I guess I'm just happy to be here, where everyone's a little weird. Everyone has such different pasts and personalities, and strangely we all seem to get along. (Mostly.) Kids are in and out of here so fast I don't even have time to learn most of their names, but some of us have made this our permanent home--Kitty, Jubes, John, me...
Sometimes, though, I feel really alone. Like nobody can really understand me. I mean, it seems like everyone's had such horrible pasts, and they don't have anyone who loves them. I feel so guilty because I know that I have a family who loves me, but... I feel caught in the middle. Ever since that night, when we went to my parent's house, and they found out about me... They haven't called. They haven't written, they won't answer my letters. It's like I don't even exist anymore. Sometimes, it hurts so much that I'd do anything to erase the pain.
They say "it's better to have loved and lost than never to have loved at all"... But people are so different, I guess we'll never know.
I should stop writing. It's just making me depressed.
-Iceman
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