|Current mood:|| curious|
I want to know...
What it feels like to be in love. I want hugs and kisses. I want hand holding. I want to get flowers. I want to give flowers. I want late night telephone calls. I want to write letters and have stupid songs. I want to dance with someone. Talk about books, movies, art, life. Laugh at stupid things and the funny, silly things. I want to share things with someone. I want all of that sappy stuff.
It seems unattainable. But at the same time, I'm only seventeen. But other people have this, so why can't I? I'm not asking for Prince Charming on a silver platter. I'd just like to be someone's girlfriend. I never seem to reach that level. I get the date, the phone calls, the ask out, the kiss. I get the chase. After that its gone. Its like I build myself up and up. And then I come tumbling down.
I'm tired of being alone sometimes. Other times I don't mind it that much. Lately the first has been taking over. And its stupid, if I really believe, it'll happen. But, I'm not so sure. So, I guess I don't believe. I hate when I hear people say "Well, if you stop worrying about it, it'll happen." It never happens. Not yet. And I'd love to believe them. I really would. But it seems like the same whether or not I want it.
I'd like a valentine. Or, I would've liked to have had one this year. I guess not. I'm not going to make a big deal out of that. That is trite and stupid. I guess if I just knew when all of this would happen, I would shut up. I would. Then you would know exactly when. It would take some of the fun out of the surprise, I guess. But still. It would be nice.
So where is this mystery boy? I guess only he knows.