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playingforGod (musicianfchrist) wrote,
@ 2003-02-18 22:34:00
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    emotions
    Today has been a good day off from school. I got to relax, and enoy the dorm life of doing nothing, and homework. Then going to the basketball game that's in a half hour.... Well I"m at dinner now, but still feeling like bla.... Yea i'm doing better then I was... I'm starting to feel that God is telling me, hey man u need to change how you used to be, and forgive people, and try to be cool with everything. Well i'm trying to do that... I feel bad that living waterz is over.... I know I didn't think half the time they were that great, but yet i like to see their friendship be the way used to be. The band is not important.... I just want them to be friends again like they were. But some tell me to let it go, but it's like i just don't want them to throw away there friendship.... Friendship is important, and it's not a good thing... So yea it seems people get mad at me for that though. I just want everyone to be friends, but yet I get fussed at for caring for others. So i'm taking a small break from the hiding place.... The place I love the most, but things are just getting to frustruating for me, and i just want to take a break to refocus my thoughts, and not have to worry about anything.... I was just trying to do a kindful gesture for my friends and help them fix their friendshipo... Friendship is too important to through away, but yet in our youth group, people can be friends one day, and not friends the next over simple stuff. Personally true friends work it out, and theres really nothing I can do... I try to help, n I don't want anyone to be hurt.... So yea neways i haven't been too cheery lately..... I try to do good things, but yet they come back to haunt me... So what can I do to help anything? I don't know, but I try. All I can do is give me love for people, even if they don't always want it from me.... But neways I just hope things get better, and everyone is friends and get along. That's all I ask.... But neways that's it for today, hope all is well... Peace and God Bless.










    Why is it that in life, it's so hard to be 100% peachy.... Really.... Ok one for valentines day I thought
    I was suppost to be on a date..... Well it so happens that it wasn't... It was more of lets drive friends around...
    really every girl I started to like here at liberty, has lead me on to believing they like me, only for me
    to find out their dating, or they like someone else. Really I thought I found someone who I wanted to really
    get to know more personally, but now it turns out that person is dating... GRRRRR... This always happens to me....
    I support their relationship 100%, and were all friends and I love em.... But it's like ahhhh, i thought we were gonna go on a date or something you know.... Sometimes i really have to put on an act, cause I don't
    want to hurt anyone..... It's really hurtful...... I mean I know i'm not perfect, but i know exactly how to treat
    a girl, and how to be there for them, and be sweet to a girl... I would never treat a girl wrong, and I would always be there to protect them, and listen to whatever they have to say no matter what time of day it is. I love girls with all my heart, but sometimes i feel so frustruated....... It's like what do I have to do!!!!!! I know I'm much happier now, cause i have alot of friends, so it's impossible for me to be alone which is a good thing.... Cause I get depressed really easily when i'm hurt and by myself..... But for real, I always get lead on whether it's they seem really into me for who I am, or they attract me physically by flirting with me alot.... I Mean for one if a girl flirts with a guy a whole whole whole lot, that would make any guy think the girl likes them... I mean if it's just a hug, or messing around, yea that's different and guys won't feel that way... But if it's like either saying stuff like oh ur cute, and i love being with you, or flirting with you to making you think they like you, really gets to me......... I really thought I found someone, only to believe that it wasnt true..... Oh well all I can do is still be there friend, cause i'm not that kinda guy to just walk out on someone... I would never do that... I care about people way too much.... I mean gosh this just gets on my nerves, but if you all understand me that makes me feel like i wasn't wasting my time writing all this... Grrrrrrrrrrrrr. Neways I love you all, and hope you all got something out of this!! Peace and God bless!!!!


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