| Current mood: | emotional... |
| Current music: | stuff I'm digging up on myspace |
all the colours of the rainbow
sitting in silence
a fuzzy haze of vision, and a blur of light
is all I see through my unfocused staring eyes
eyes that are burning
and there's a lump in my throat
trying so hard to remain positive, but this lonliness is simply unbearable
I am not alone, and I am thankful for that
I would be lost
but my heart longs for community
hours spent in solitude is wearing it thin.
there are words forming, never to be spoken
countless lyrics, robbed of melody
intense, trapped, "un-channelable" emotion.
my head is screaming at this lack of direction
I call my life.
plans, and dreams are piling up
and as they do, doubt climbs up right behind.
these days, when colours seem flat
when minutes seem like hours, and when the silence is deafening
I feel stuck.
....................................
now to contradict myself
....................................
these weeks here have been fantastic
living with one of my favourite people on the planet,
and someone I look up to more than most.
I smile guiltily to myself every day as I get up at noon and peek in your room
on the way to the bathroom, and see that you're already up and gone
I am excited to wait up to see you when you get home -
to hear all your stories,
and miss you when our days keep us apart
I love knowing that when I get home, and am ready to scream
we will end up laughing until we cry
and everything will be ok again.
I love that we joke about how embarrasing it'd be
if "anyone else ever saw us like this"
I love having this experience with you, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
I don't want you to feel unappreciated,
because without you I would be a wreck.
I'd have given up.
I miss my friends, yes
but you are my sister
I love you more than I could ever say
and I love being here with you
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