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Munkeykat (munkeykat) wrote,
@ 2005-01-07 23:49:00
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    Current mood: listless
    Current music:The Smashing Pumpkins Siamese Dream

    Movie Reference Quiz Time
    So I just got done sobbing and snotting all over myself because Murph and I watched What Dreams May Come, the best movie to watch if you're in the mood to cry like a child that's just seen his favorite pet run over by a logging truck. I saw it when it first came out, but despite the fact that I knew everything that was going to happen in the film, I cried anyway. Just like the first time I saw it. Except then, I was with cw and tried not to weep as openly as I did tonight.

    I've been in a bad mood all day partly due to the dreams (figures) that I had last night. I dreamed that Jeff and I were talking about his lying to me, or his not telling me the whole truth, if you will. We were face to face, and he was very upset with himself. But he told me that, yes, he'd been dating Meeka for two years and living with her for about as long. He paused, and then started crying. I asked "What else?" because I was going to get all of the truth out of him. He said, "And I got married." I asked "To her?" meaning Meeka. He said, "No" and kept crying. I asked, "To the blonde one then?" meaning Tara, the mother of his son. He said yes, her, that they'd gotten married because of the baby, not because they loved each other. He said that it didn't work out and they haven't been together since, but that they were still married.

    I guess I woke up to that, but went back to sleep because it was only 9am, and I sure didn't feel like starting my day with that. So instead, I woke up to a phone call from my former boss who proceeded to tell me for about ten minutes some information that should have take about two minutes to convey. A student from one of my classes this past semester came to her wanting to know why *exactly* why he'd flunked my class. Of course, he mentioned that he'd been to class almost every day and that they didn't see any midterm grades. He failed, however, to mention that he never really came to me for help, participated much, or that he couldn't write a paper to save the life of his own mother.

    As God is my witness, as God is my witness they're not going to lick me. I'm going to live through this and when it's all over, I'll never be a teacher again. No, nor any of my folk. If I have to lie, steal, cheat or kill. As God is my witness, I'll never teach again.

    Oh yeah, and before I watched the movie with Murph, I told my sister about Jeff's girlfriend. She spent the whole conversation ignoring my reasons for needing to try things with Jeff again (which I know seems like a stupid, stupid idea that can only end badly, but I don't have the energy to explain myself right now) and shitting on my hope.

    Fuck today.

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