| Current mood: |  crushed |
| Current music: | "The circle of life"-Disney Channel Circle of Stars |
A letter from me to him
Somewhere down the road I messed up. Is this where I'm supposed to realize that I cant always get wat I want and by continuing to desire what I know is out of my reach...i lose someone that I never really realized how much I cared for until now...that they are gone.
It wasnt my fault that he fell for me. I never cast a spell on him to make him fall for me. I never did. But somehow fate came in and took control. He fell for me, and perhaps I strung him along by thinking that he could get with me. Maybe I did...but if in fact I did...I did it subconsciously and I am sorry. If you are reading this, I'm sorry. I never wanted to hurt u.
But its too late now...you've blocked my sn because u say it hurts u too much to talk to me. But wat about my feelings? Don't you realize that I need you. Maybe I haven't showed my gratitude as much as I should have, and maybe I haven't always been the nicest to you, but I thought we had a bond.
There was a time when we were as close as sister and brother. You knew everything about me. I guess that was one of the main reasons why I couldn't let myself get in a relationship with you that and the fact that Another I know that I am unworthy girlfriend. I've been hurt too much to be a good girlfriend and to love someone wholeheartedley.And because you we're a part of me. You knew the inner workings of my mind. You know my true character.
Maybe that's where I was at fault, maybe I should have never let you get to know the real me. Maybe I should have kept my distance and only let you meet the part of me that I show to the world.
Maybes and what if's ...that's what it has all come down to. But the reality remains the same. You're gone...I've lost you forever.
Forever...isn't that a word? It looks kind of pretty now that I am looking at it...but its meaning can be good or bad. You promised to love me forever...thats amazing. I'm leaving you forever....that hurts. Deep down like a knife cutting through my soul.
I'm sorry...if I could change things I would. But...as a wise man once said...it doesn't matter...it's in the past. Maybe thats the truth. I don't know...maybe its a bunch of disney movie blase.
I don't know...I wish I could undo the wrong I have done...but I want u to know that I am really and truly sorry...and that I love you. I know it doesnt change anything....but I thought u should know
-Love,
Shawnee
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